


Jim from IT

by winkingmagpie



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Eventual Character Death, Fluff, M/M, eventual angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:52:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1668701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winkingmagpie/pseuds/winkingmagpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story in which Jim from IT is just that: Jim from IT. He works quietly and diligently, never expecting to catch the eye of a certain Consulting Detective. Sebastian Moran, on the other hand, works as a security guard in Bart’s hospital and has a reputation for being a bit of a flirt; he never actually has interest in anyone until a scrawny IT guy fixes his way into his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story started as a detailed, 110 page RP with my best friend (whom I’ll call my Sebastian). I have revised it to story format.
> 
> This is also my first work posted here. Comments, suggestions, etc are welcome and appreciated!

Jim Moriarty worked in IT. He was a simple guy. He didn't get into trouble. He worked from a desk. He had friends and a suitable, little flat with all the basics. And as Sherlock Holmes let slip today in the lab of St. Bart’s hospital, Jim was gay. It wasn’t something he really talked about, but it wasn’t something he hid either. Needless to say, Molly was a bit shocked to find out. She asked him later that evening why they would even date if he wasn’t interested. Their discussion led to a mutual break up, complete with a hug and promise to still be friends. Honestly, Molly was a lovely girl. Jim was glad to still have her companionship.

So he went back to work, single and content with that for now. He missed the cuddles and hand holding and doting on someone significant, but there would be other chances. All in due time.

Sebastian Moran worked in security. It wasn’t incredibly ambitious, but it was a steady job and steady pay. It kept him busy. He served his country for a time, did his duty, but didn’t continue his service when his time was up. Without much of an education but a definite fondness for serving and protecting, he joined up with a security company and was placed at St. Bart’s to head up security detail during the day. It was nothing too extreme, but it suited him perfectly.

He was the most effective security guard they’d had in decades, not to mention the most handsome, and he enjoyed it. The thing he didn’t enjoy? Damn new computers that refused to do what he wanted them to do. He’d been at it for hours already, trying to get it booted and cooperating with the camera system that was also brand new. He was on and off the phone with IT, shutting the system off and on. Off and on. Off and on until he was ready to go up there and punch every IT worker in the face with a monitor. But finally he got some lady who seemed to understand the problem but couldn’t fix it remotely. She told him to sit tight and someone would be down to take a look at it in about ten minutes. Great. Ten minutes of sitting on his arse and not being able to watch any cameras, now coupled with waiting for a tech person to show up and delaying his walk around. The wait had better be worth his time.


	2. First Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first few meetings between Sebastian and Jim...and they aren't always coincidental.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New update! I plan on updating rather frequently. Thanks to those of you who have left kudos, or even just given this fic a chance. It's my first and I'd love any feedback. Have a lovely day!

Jim was sitting at his desk when his phone rang, Lucy telling him his next job. Ah. Computer problem in the security room. Right. He thanked her and made his way down to the small security corner of the hospital. Opening the door, Jim smiled at the broad shouldered security guard looking just about ready to hang himself.

“Hello! Someone called for It assistance? Sorry about the wait.” It had only been three minutes since Sebastian’s call to Lucy. Jim did always try to be efficient. Being quick gets people in a better mood when it comes to tech fixes.

Sebastian was starting to contemplate how many paper clips he could link together to hang himself with when a rather cute IT person came through the door with a soft smile. He recognized the man from seeing him bustling around the hospital before, but never really talked with him. Sebastian glanced at his watch. Holy shit. Three minutes. Not bad. A slow smile spread across Sebastian’s face as he looked at the familiar-ish guy up and down a moment.

“You’re Jim, right? Hell of a wait. All three minutes. Didn’t think I was going to make it alive.” Sebastian teased, smirk wide and revealing perfectly straight teeth.

Jim nodded shyly, noticing the smile. Jim lived for a nice smile. “Yeah, I’m Jim. Here to save the day! What seems to be the problem?”

Sebastian explained the issue, and Jim set right to work. It took all of five minutes before Jim pulled away with a triumphant expression. Sebastian stared a bit stunned. That was a lot faster and easier than he anticipated. Well. Easier for the IT guy who…well seemed to reprogram the entire thing without even flinching.

“All fixed! Anything else I can help with?”

Sebastian shook his head in awe. “Teach me your magic, oh great and wise one. I’d been ready to murder this thing for hours.”

To which of course Jim started talking about programming errors. Even as he tried explaining it, tumbling over his words and pointing to an invisible schematics board in front of him, Sebastian couldn’t help but find it way more endearing than it should have been. The security guard was still grinning at him when Jim finally caught himself.

“I’m sorry. It’s all rather gibberish, isn’t it?”

“It is to me, but what do I know? I just run security. Didn’t quite hit the genetics jackpot like you.” Sebastian smiled again, tagging this Jim guy as not only cute but terribly intelligent. Two points in his favor. Jim let out an amused huff. They were quiet a moment when the security radio crackled into life: calling code for an unruly family member. Sebastian sighed and stood up, grabbing the radio.

“Well, Jim. Been a pleasure. But now it’s time for me to save the day. And thank you. For the. Reprogramming thing.” With a smile and a wave, Sebastian was out the door with Jim watching him go.

*****

The next morning, Jim got another call from security. Apparently the computer was down again. The one Jim had just fixed yesterday. Confused and anxious now, Jim slid his work cell into his pocket and made his way back to the security desk. He bit his lip as he saw Sebastian again, but quickly went right for the computer to pull up the command screen.

“I really thought I fixed it I don’t know what could have happened I’m sorry to inconvenience you like this I’ll have it up and running again in just a moment.” The words flew from Jim’s lips faster than he could think. He typed away furiously…until he realized it wasn’t the program that wasn’t cooperating…

“Did you literally keyboard smash the computer to confuse it?”

“I might have done,” Sebastian grinned wickedly, “Come on now, you can fix it. I just wanted to see you again. You know, thank you properly for fixing the real problem earlier.”

Shifting, Sebastian put his foot up on the arm of the chair Jim was using. He swiveled it so they could be facing each other, effectively pulling Jim away from his work. The IT worker bit his lip. Sebastian waved his hand.

“If they think you’re taking forever, just tell them it went into self-destruct mode or something.”

“Self-destruct mode?” Jim couldn’t help but chuckle at that. What a ridiculous notion. He pushed Sebastian’s foot away and turned back to the desk. He fixed the computer. Stood. Turned to the security guard. Smiled quietly.

“Well. Your computer has safely been re-coded to non-self-destruct mode. You are perfectly safe from any future explosions by keyboard smashed technology.”

Wait. He was leaving now? But Sebastian had yet to thank him properly for all his help today! No way was he letting the IT guy get away that quickly. He leaned back against his desk and folded his arms.

“Now hold on. I just found out you’re funny, what makes you think you’re going back now? If you leave again, I’ll find something else to smash my keyboard against and demand you come fix it. Might as well stay and save my technology the emotional damage.”

“But…we’ve got work to do…?” Jim ended on a question, not really sure what Sebastian was getting at. Though…he was grinning again. He had a really nice smile. Kind of like shark teeth. Not sharp or triangular. Just bright and endless. Jim sighed.

“You could not emotionally traumatize the hospital’s security systems and just ask for my business card. Then you won’t have to break something to get a hold of me.”

“Yeah, but, see, the problem with that is then I’d have your work number. And I’m not exactly after your work number.” Hell, would it hurt the guy to pick up on his flirting? Sebastian unfolded his arms and stood up, leaning on the chair still next to Jim, whose eyes were coincidentally lighting up with realization.

Jim flushed bright red to the tips of his ears. He reached into his wallet to pull out the business card, pushing it softly into Sebastian’s hand. Then he was grinning again, meeting Sebastian’s eyes.

“It does have my cell, doofus.” Before the security guard could sink him another flirtatious lure, Jim left to get back to his office. His heart was racing. That was terrifying…and fun! Flirting like that. Jim was usually so quiet and nervous but. Well that was something else. Now Sebastian had his cell phone (used for work and home) and all he could do was wonder what would happen next.

*****

Jim was in the morgue working with Molly’s new laptop when the famous consulting detective and his doctor stepped into the room. Sherlock Holmes demanded immediate attention. John Watson shrugged, as he often did to apologize for Sherlock’s behavior. Molly immediately bustled about pulling out the newest cadavers while Jim remained by the laptop.

Sherlock Holmes was a decent looking man. Tall. Dark curls mopped over his head. He was all long limbs and angles where Jim was short, plain, with a small tummy he kept quietly hidden beneath carefully picked t-shirts. Jim had been fond of the consulting detective for weeks. His few dates with Molly had brought him closer to Sherlock since they worked in the labs. But the consulting detective could be so rude and standoffish…well, since when do crushes ever act rationally? Sherlock obviously only had eyes for Dr. Watson. Dr. Watson only had eyes for women. So Jim looked on fondly from a distance, finishing his work with Molly’s laptop before returning upstairs to his cubicle.

Twenty minutes later Sebastian was called down to the morgue to try and convince Sherlock, once again, that taking disembodied parts of a victim without the explicit consent from the deceased person’s family, New Scotland Yard, and the hospital was in fact illegal. The consulting detective moaned boring. Sebastian growled headache. To which John shook his head and took his best friend by the arm to get them home. Molly sighed as they left, thanking Sebastian for his assistance and chatting about work. She smiled softly when Sebastian mentioned Jim fixing his recent technical issues.

“What?”

“Oh. Sorry, no. It’s just. We used to go out.”

“Really? I thought he was gay.”

“No, he is. We only went out a few times…before…”

“Oh. But someone as pretty as you? Not surprising he was up to going out with you.” Sebastian flashed a smile at her and Molly blushed before waving him away to get back to work. He left her in peace, doing a lap of the hospital before returning to his desk and picking up his phone.

“Jim. IT.”

“Ears burning?”

“What?”

“I was just talking about you.”

Jim grinned to himself, shaking his head. He had given Sebastian his number only a few days ago, and the security guard had taken to at least calling or leaving a message once a day. They would just talk about the “lack of cute IT guys,” how Sebastian “threatened” to call the quality assurance brigade to remedy the “problem” if IT did nothing about it. Every short phone call or voicemail got a soft giggle from Jim. He had to admit: he always walked away with a smile after talking to that silly, flirty, security guard.


	3. Crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To have a crush is to win a heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! And chapters will probably get longer as story develops.

Jim always reported to work at 6am. He liked getting there early when no one else was really around. He would stop by his desk real quick, then visit the children’s ward to tell them fairytales and made up stories. Then he headed to the little indoor gym they had for therapy patients to use the bicycle machine. Then he made a final stop to the locker rooms for a quick shower and change before reporting to his desk by 9am.

Jim took a little longer in the shower this morning. His flat had just shut off his water for late bill payments, so he savored the hot water provided by the hospital. It was only a few extra minutes before Jim shut off the shower head and wrapped a towel round his middle. Right. Time to get dressed for work. What he wasn’t expecting was to see opening the curtain was Sebastian Moran standing there grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Wha- what are you doing here?”

Sebastian’s grin dissipated. He would always go on a run before taking a shower at the hospital. He was a tad late today, showering late, and was just tying up his shoes when he looked up and none other than Jim from IT was standing there with a towel from armpits to knees. Sebastian should have just called out like any smart person would have done. Instead he waited like an idiot to surprise Jim after his shower. “I…sorry, I just…I exercise here before work…too… and shit I’m sorry. I just. Didn’t think this through obviously. Sorry I’ll just…fuck right off where I came from then.” He didn’t even pause as he grabbed his bag from the bench and scurried off. He was an idiot. He wanted to keep flirting not…whatever the hell that was. Jim probably thought he was a total creep now.

Jim was just rather grateful for the way hot water turned his skin steam red because it must have hidden the blush of hot embarrassment spreading across his cheeks. He watched the door shut behind the security guard before quickly getting dressed and going up to his desk. He felt awkward. Subconscious. There were no signs of Sebastian for the rest of the day either. But Jim wasn’t going to let one bad encounter get to him. It was an accident it seemed. Sebastian was quite sorry after it happened so…

On the way out for the evening, Jim saw Sebastian making a round at the front of the hospital. He made sure to get his attention with a wave and a smile.

“Have a good evening!”

Oh. Sebastian was kicking himself all day for being a right arse that morning. Then Jim passes by, smiling and waving and… Sebastian smiled softly and gave a little wave back. So. Maybe it wasn’t all bad. He made a horrifically embarrassing mistake. He apologized. It seemed that Jim wasn’t going to hold it against him. So the next morning (making sure to be right on schedule – he didn’t want another fiasco) Sebastian risked another phone call up to Jim’s desk.

“This is Jim.”

“How far along are you in fixing my problem? I still don’t see any cute IT guys down here in my office.”

Jim smiled at the voice on the other end of the line. “Well it is quite the problem. There are only so many guys in IT that are actually cute. Seems not that many work in London.”

“I’m starting to think they’re mythical creatures. Though I have seen glimpses of one the last couple weeks.”

Jim bit his lip. “Maybe I can make it up to you somehow? For my lacking skills in finding adorable techies.”

Sebastian leaned forward, taking a sip of coffee. “Well, I think you might be able to make it up to me. There is money in my pocket designated for a coffee for the cutest IT guy you can find for me.”

“I’ll send him down at lunchtime. Eleven to noon?”

“Perfect.”

*****

Jim walked down the hospital halls to the security department at exactly 11am. He found Sebastian and snuck up behind him, popping his head over his shoulder.

“Not very good at security are you? I can breach your room and fix your computers. What can you do?”

Sebastian gave him a side glance. “I keep everyone in line and physically remove any threats.”

The two looked at one another a moment before sharing a smile. Sebastian gestured to the door and the two left, walking down the halls towards the cafeteria. Jim kept his hands in his pockets. Sebastian pulled out his wallet to mess with.

"So how was the morning in IT? No self-destruction, I hope.”

“Mmm. Some pretty close calls. Luckily enough I’m there to disarm any bomb threats.” Jim’s smile widened. “And no bad guys infiltrating the hospital, I hope?”

“Had a couple attempts, but nothing I couldn’t handle.” Sebastian pulled out his wallet to pay for coffee and lunch, covering the both of them. “I’m surprised everything’s been so quiet with your group then. Those IT guys sure can be crazy.”

“Keyboard smashing flirts are the ones driving them crazy.”

That earned a shark grin from the security guard. Jim felt his stomach flip. They sat down across from one another to discuss work, how Jim had been there three years now and Sebastian was just finishing his first. They talked about the rumor mill. It had exploded when Sebastian had first joined the team; security was tighter, reports were done on time, Sebastian was all looks and no play. Only recently had the gossip died down about Jim being gay and the whole dating Molly thing. It wasn’t something either of them participated in, the gossiping, but it was hard not to hear things. They were quiet a moment before Sebastian chuckled. Jim looked up at him.

“Now you’ve got me curious, though. You’ve met me. We’ve had lunch. What do you think?” Taking away all the rumors…what were the facts telling Jim? For a moment Jim was quiet, the corner of his mouth twitching up with a little smile. Then he answered.

“I think you’re silly. You flirt but it isn’t only just for fun or anything. You’re looking for chemistry. You’re good at your job. You work out obviously. And. Good looking. So. Yeah.” Jim covered his cheeks with his hands. It was his honest opinion. Gossip aside, Sebastian seemed really decent.

Sebastian was about to respond with a little deduction himself when his radio went off again, alerting him of an overly drunk man in A&E. He sighed, shaking his head as he stood up.

“Sorry. Gotta run. Baddies trying to break in or something. Thanks for joining me, Jim.” He flashed a smile before dashing off, leaving Jim to once again watch as Sebastian headed out the door. He finished up his lunch, Molly joining him for a quick bite before she too took off back to the morgue. Apparently Sherlock was examining dead bodies again. Perhaps the worst part about that was the fact Jim still had a crush on the guy. It was fading though for someone else…

Later that afternoon, Sebastian knew Jim was almost done with his shift. He was still on for a few more hours so it wasn’t like he could walk with him on his way out or anything. Only one option. He picked up his phone and dialed his favorite number.

“Jim. IT.”

“Missed connection; one single, security guard seeking single, IT worker. Last seen in the cafeteria at lunch time. I liked the way he smiles and blushes but I had to run before telling him so.”

“I…oh…umm…thanks…ehh,” Jim couldn’t even form a sentence. He finally just chuckled to himself and responded, “Did you get the bad guy then?”

“I did, yeah. Just had to calm him down so nurses could properly take care of him. You’re not in for much longer, are you?”

“Mmm nope. Got another twenty minutes maybe. And you?” Ah. A couple more hours for him. Too bad their shifts really didn’t match up. Where Jim worked steady eight hour days, the security guards had their schedules rotate. They went quiet, listening to each other’s breathes. It was a strange sort of comfort just hearing life on the other side of a line. Jim mentally shook himself as Sebastian broke that silence.

“Lunch, same time tomorrow?”

“Yeah."

*****

Lunch meetings with Sebastian were great. Run-ins with Sherlock weren’t. Upon fixing a heart monitor in the back of an ambulance, Sebastian called him brilliant. After fixing up the centrifuge in the labs, Sherlock merely waved a hand to get him out of the way. Sebastian complimented him, found him funny and cute and sincere. Sherlock hardly looked at him and probably couldn’t even remember his name. Really, Jim shouldn’t still like the man with the trademark coat and blue scarf. Yet every brief meeting, glance, breath of Mr. Holmes strung him on.

It was during an incident in the labs that Sebastian noticed this string too.

Things were thankfully calm that morning for the security guard, so he took the opportunity to stop in and see Molly. Holmes was doing whatever the hell it was he usually does and ignored the two as they chatted. A loud slam on the worktop interrupted them both to whatever technical issue the detective was having now. Molly called IT and shortly thereafter, Jim showed up.

He walked right to Sherlock’s side. Jim was in black trousers, white shirt, and a lavender cardigan. He had mentioned having a presentation this week to Sebastian a few days ago. But even as the security guard sat there just across the lab, Jim only had eyes for the detective. Sebastian watched as Jim looked over the computer with brows furrowed and fingers running along the buttons and cords. Jim glanced behind the table and his eyes went wide with surprise. He grabbed his phone.

“Yes, hi. This is Jim Moriarty. I need a hazmat team to the lab as soon as –”

“Hazmat? They can’t come down here! They will throw out my experiments!”

Jim pointed to behind the table where Sherlock quickly side stepped. Whatever chemicals Sherlock had mixed and left sitting on a shelf had a strong enough acidity to melt the glass beaker and drop onto the computer wires. Of course the detective started ranting, to which Jim thinned his lips.

“I’m sorry, but we don’t know what you’ve mixed in there and –” Sherlock started listing the elements as he struggled to pass Jim and clean it himself. Before Jim could move, Sebastian came into view. Oh. It was enough to have Sherlock storming off out of the hospital. But to not even… Embarrassed and feeling awkward now, Jim gave the weakest smile Sebastian had ever seen before slowly moving the table away to start unplugging the computer, asking Molly to call for another IT guy to set up a temporary laptop down here while this one went under repairs. He didn’t even give Sebastian the chance to speak before setting back to work. So the security guard took his leave, muttering about making sure Sherlock actually left as the hazmat teamed stepped into the room.

It took a few minutes before Jim could retreat to his office and clear his head. He still planned to meet Sebastian for lunch at eleven… was it fifteen til already? After a sigh, Jim filed away a few papers before heading down to face further humiliation. Sebastian was leaning against the wall near the cafeteria when Jim showed up.

“You look really great today. Was that for your presentation?”

“Oh. Yeah it was. You remembered that?” Jim smiled.

Of course he did. “Yeah. How’d it go?”

The conversation was slow. Sebastian kept engaging, but Jim was hardly responding in more than two sentences. He picked at his food, looked lost in thought. He kept glancing up to Sebastian’s chin, but never meeting his eyes. Sebastian was starting to plan all the ways he could arrest Sherlock Holmes when he gave one last shot to conversation.

“Any exciting plans this weekend?”

Jim raised an eyebrow, finally looking at Sebastian’s green eyes with his brown ones. “Could be exciting. Depends on a few things. About a fifty-fifty chance that I’ll either have my Friday night busy with a friend doing something brilliant or completely home free and full of reading.”

Oh. Sebastian cleared his throat. “Sounds like someone’s feeling a bit risky.”

“Hopefully it’s worth it.” The two parted, not talking for the rest of the evening until Sebastian got off his shift. He sent a text without a signature, contacting Jim with his mobile for once instead of the office phone.

_We should go out._

_I’m free Friday at six. JM_

Sebastian would have to clean out his car then.


	4. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Chapter 4: First Date

Sebastian pulled into the visitor’s parking of Jim’s apartment building. It was quite small, the red brick chipping on the sides and old window boxes unkempt springing weeds. Even the railing up four steps had nicks and dings from misuse. Sebastian did a quick sweep of the inside of his car, making sure all the spare books and empty water bottles had actually made it out of his car. It wasn’t that he was untidy; his car just magically collected a lot of things sometimes. He headed up the stairs to the second floor. It was as he was picking lint off his black jumper that Jim answered the door. Sebastian beamed at him.

“Ready to go?”

“Yup.” Jim stepped into the hall, locking the door behind him. He was ready to go in a nice pair of jeans and a white v-neck and blue cardigan. Though he did keep pulling at his sleeve, the butterflies churning in his stomach, Jim felt some semblance of peace in his chest. Sebastian was a good man. This would be fine. First date belly flips were always bound to happen. “So what are we doing?”

“Well. I was thinking we’d go see the new exhibit at the museum before grabbing a bite to eat and maybe going on a little walk. Just. Round central London, if that sounds good to you.” Jim nodded. Sebastian smiled at his date as they made their way down to the car park. He couldn’t help but glance at him a few times. He dressed appropriately. Nicely, but not overdoing it. His brown eyes were vibrant. Despite the rundown flat, Jim was alive; just a little ball of happy energy. It was infectious. Sebastian couldn’t get enough. He opened Jim’s door for him and everything, trying to be a good date and courteous and all that. First impressions are great, but only hold up if you keep up.

“You look great, by the way.” Sebastian slid the key into the ignition, side-eying his date. Date.

“Thanks. Easy to look good when your date looks even better.” Jim clicked his seatbelt.

They arrived at the Natural History Museum in good time. Jim lived south of the hospital, but even with traffic it only took just over twenty minutes. They walked inside side by side. At least the entertainment was free. All Sebastian had to pay for tonight was dinner. Not that he was cheap, but money wasn’t on his good side. It seemed to be the same story for Jim as well. Hopefully museum would be alright. Tonight was a special WWII exhibit with poster board signs at the entrance announcing new artifacts and paintings were brought in for display. Those would be towards the end of the museum tour though. They had a million years of history in this place, and most of it London natives had already seen before. So Jim and Sebastian started their round of the exhibits by chatting quietly, bypassing the first timers and tourists.

“So what’s an attractive guy like you do in his spare time?” Sebastian winked.

Jim shook his head at his date, but then knit his brow. Humming as he thought, Jim let an internal debate play out. The things he did were fun for him. But what if they weren’t fun for Sebastian? They probably weren’t. Jim liked quiet weekends. He preferred hot chocolate and movies over wild nights and stag dos. He just…did things that probably wouldn’t interest an active, brilliant, attractive, flirty security guard.

“Yeah. Sorry, I usually just stay at home after work.” Boring, pathetic answer. Jim mentally slapped himself.

“Right. So no wild karaoke pub nights for you then.”

“I’ve been to pub nights!”

“Recently?”

“…No,” Jim checked a sigh, “I do things… I’m just not sure you’d be interested in them.” Jim concentrated heavily on the human bone structure display before him, shoulders up to his ears. The butterflies were flying again. Now they spread up from his stomach to his chest.

Sebastian looked over him carefully. First, the idea of sweet Jim from IT getting drunk at a bar amused him greatly. There would definitely need to be football and billiard nights at Sebastian’s favored pub in the future. Second, how could there be anything about this man that didn’t interest him? They were on a date! That had to mean something. Sure the rumors of the office said the hot security guard was all talk and no play, but people shouldn’t believe everything they hear. He just enjoyed making people smile, had the occasional date. When after the first few it doesn’t feel right, he lets it slide. Jim captured him. Hook line and sinker.

“Well now. You don’t know that. I might surprise you.” Sebastian said.

Jim glanced up at his date, then quickly looked back at another human development piece. “I…read to kids. A lot, actually. In the mornings to the children’s ward and afternoons in a bookshop across the street on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’m a storyteller.” Sebastian’s eyes went wide. So Jim enjoyed being around kids, and Sebastian’s favorite part of his job, in a way, was helping lost kids. Not that he was glad they were lost, but he liked watching each reunion scene when the tears of a child turn from fear to relief.

“Really? That little shop across Bart’s? That’s fantastic! I’m sure the kids just love you for it.” 

“Do you have a favorite kid’s story?” Jim asked, finally relaxing his shoulders seeing Sebastian’s smile.

“I read a hell of a lot. Have done since I was a kid. I don’t think I really have an overall favorite though.” It was difficult to choose… maybe the one about the caterpillar who ate everything. He liked the pages in that one anyway. “How about you? You have a favorite?”

“The Rainbow Fish. And Grimm’s Fairytales. Those are my favorites I think. I have a lot at home.” Shelves full of just children’s books. Jim always found them more interesting than novels or nonfiction. Sometimes people focus too much on being seen as mature to realize the best stories are the ones in children’s books.

When they finally arrived at the WWII display, Jim took careful note of Sebastian’s sudden somberness. He stood tall. His eyes were shining at each painting. His fingers tapped on his pocket like they were itching to touch the history before him. Jim wasn’t much for history, but apparently Sebastian was.

“Were you in the army?”

Sebastian pulled his eyes away from a photo of a wounded soldier. “Yeah, I was.”

There was a pause, and for a moment Jim felt like he should hold Sebastian’s hand. Their hands had brushed a few times between pointing things out and walking too close. Jim blushed each time but it was easy to forget embarrassment when his date gave him his best shark grin. So, softly, he reached two fingers forward and wrapped them around Sebastian’s middle three. His date turned to him, not with the usual winning grin, but with something caught between distant and fond. The rest of their tour was quiet.

After just under two hours at the museum, the two made their way to dinner hand in hand. Sebastian paid for their fish and chips before moving to sit close on a bench to eat. They talked of the exhibit, how Sebastian had studied history at university but then joined the army. He served his time but left to do some security work. “In the same vein as being in the army…still protecting people,” he explained. A heavy fall from a sniper shot injured his shoulder enough to get him to leave. Jim nodded along, commenting he hadn’t always wanted to be in tech work but ended up at Bart’s when he finished his double degree in computer engineering and computer applications. Though neither had ended up where they imagined, circumstances had brought them together. It didn’t seem so bad thinking about it that way.

By the end of the night, Sebastian walked Jim to his room with their hands in their pockets. It had been fun. They lingered a moment outside the door. Jim kicked the ground. Sebastian played with the keys in his pocket.

“This was fun.” Jim glanced up at his date.

“Maybe…we should do it again sometime.”

“I’d like that.”

They both smiled. Sebastian sighed with quiet relief. Then suddenly Jim was leaning forward, and Sebastian found himself in a gentle hug. He wrapped his arms around his date, pressing his nose to Jim’s fluff of hair.

“I’ll see you Monday. And thanks again.” Jim slid his arms away, going to his flat and closing the door softly behind him. Sebastian waited a beat before heading back downstairs. Yes. Yes! It was good. They were on for another date. Thanks. Thank you too. Thank you. Sebastian slid into the driver’s seat and headed home, replaying the entire evening in his mind.


	5. Similarities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The more they get to know each other, the more Sebastian and Jim realize they have in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kudos and continued support!

The rest of Jim’s weekend was quiet as expected. He spent it reading, thinking of Sebastian, sketching Sebastian’s smile, reading some more, and imagining how Sebastian’s full laugh might sound echoing off his small apartment walls. It was a busy weekend. As Monday rolled in, Jim was welcomed with another phone call from security. Sebastian made it habit by now to call him every morning for a quick hello. It was nice to know they were each other’s first thoughts in the morning.

“Hey you.” Jim answered.

“Well hey there, handsome. Hope your weekend wasn’t too boring.”

“Mmm. It was quiet. First part of my weekend was brilliant.” Jim brushed a finger over his desk, daydreaming. “How was your weekend?”

“Pretty good, if I do say so. Started off on a high note on Friday. Saw my sister on Saturday. Pretended Monday was further awa-”

“You have a sister?” Jim interrupted. That was an unexpected similarity. Sebastian explained that yes, he did. Her name was Darcy. Twenty. Young and bright and beautiful. Jim informed Sebastian that he too had a younger sister, Richelle. He called her Richie for short, and she was only fourteen. But it was the only information he offered up. Sebastian seemed to take the hint. He switched topics to their next date: a play with a 2pm matinee on Saturday. _Wicked, Jersey Boys, Billy Elliot, Lion King,_ and _The Bodyguard_ were all showing. Jim smirked at the idea of seeing _The Bodyguard_. He already had one. They decided on _Lion King_ and mutually hung up, promising to keep in touch during the week. Where they would normally meet for lunch every day, Jim cancelled twice then missed saying goodbye to Sebastian Friday evening. He left a note on the security guard’s desk to make up for it. _You look best in dark greys and blues. Just a hint. :)_ Jim had just settled down for dinner when he got a text: _And you look brilliant in red._

Jim opened the door with a smile. His date wore nicely fitted trousers and navy blue button up. He was in a red zip mock neck jumper. “You look great.”

“And you look stunning.” Sebastian took Jim’s arm to escort him to the car. It was a short drive to the West End theatre where they talked about the recent drunk brawl in A&E Sebastian had the pleasure of disrupting. It had caused quite a scene, the 6’1” army sniper pinning two burly and intoxicated men in the waiting room. Jim was a little disappointed he hadn’t witnessed it. Though he was sorry to hear Sebastian had to ice his shoulder for the rest of the night.

As they stepped inside the theatre to take their seats, Jim kept biting his lip and pinching his fingers together. Then as they waiting for the play to start, he leaned forward as if his chest hurt. Sebastian glanced around but found nothing unusual. He touched Jim’s arm gently to get his attention.

“Is something wrong, Jim?” Sebastian asked, his eyebrows knit. Jim turned after a moment, the question pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry. Zoned out a bit there. Have you seen this play before?” Either way, he had plenty of trivia to tell his date before the lights finally dimmed. The play was brilliant. A quarter of the way though, Jim took Sebastian’s hand and held it for the rest of the show. Even through intermission. Sebastian was grinning like a Cheshire cat the entire time. The play wasn’t much to his tastes, but he knew Jim’s interests. So far so good.

The two left for dinner then. Jim was raving with excitement. From Julie Taymor’s innovative directing to Garth Fagan’s choreography, Jim reviewed every detail of the musical. Sebastian had no idea he was so versed in theatre. Sebastian commented that Jim should work in West End himself, to which Jim smiled briefly but said no further. At dinner Jim actually got to hear his date’s laugh. It was short and breathy, not at all what he had imagined. It was perfect. Jim’s own gentle ha-haaa slipped a few times as Sebastian recounted a time when a stranger mistook him for a drug customer and handed him a USB drive with a recipe for space cakes. It was so ridiculous the two of them continued to snicker about it on the way back to the car. Their date ended with another hug, but with an added kiss to the cheek for Sebastian. They said their goodnights and Sebastian was once again grinning the whole way home.

Apparently Sunday morning saw a soppy Sebastian. Still on a high from last night’s date, Sebastian placed an order for a delivery. He ordered a muffin and a proper Irish breakfast to be sent to one Jim Moriarty. Jim had just stepped out of the shower when there was a knock on the door. He muttered a swear before throwing on some clothes and answering. Surprised. A delivery boy left Jim with a bag of food and an orange juice. The note inside said, _Good morning, handsome. Hope you like lemon poppyseed. Sebastian._ Well. He didn’t always have to call Jim handsome. Or keep doing nice things for him all the time. It was then that Jim briefly considered the rumors Bart’s had always whispered about the security guard. Big flirt. Perhaps it was just the honeymoon stages of their relationship, but Jim didn’t need to be coddled. After a few minutes still standing at the door, Jim finally shut it and went to the living room to eat. He pulled out his phone with every intention of asking Sebastian to perhaps slow down. _Poppyseed. My favorite. Thank you!_

Sebastian grinned at his phone chimed. He was correct in his assumption then. He explained the food delivery was his leeway into asking for a third date. Jim simply asked when. Looking at his calendar phone, Sebastian realized he would be busy this weekend. Hopefully waiting two weeks wouldn’t put the IT guy off. He suggested two weeks and as Jim got the text, he sighed with relief. No rushing. Not clingy. Good. Two weeks, then.

The first week went by with the usual morning phone calls, but not many lunch dates. If Jim wasn’t busy fixing computers in the ambulance units, Sebastian was off dealing with security violations from angry guardians or distraught boyfriends or devastated girlfriends who didn’t know the meaning of patience or rules. On Wednesday they were able to meet briefly. Jim wolfed down his sandwich while Sebastian vented about all the crazies being released on the same day. He talked out his frustration and Jim pressed his fingers to the security guard’s arm. It would be alright. Sebastian sighed, but nodded. If anything, he appreciated this moment. Sometimes he just needed someone to listen. Jim was always willing to listen. That Saturday after the week from hell, Jim sent a pizza Sebastian’s way in pay back for the delivery breakfast. It was a good way to celebrate the weekend. That Monday, Sebastian skipped his usual morning call to bring a coffee to his favorite IT guy’s desk. He knocked on the side of the cubical and found the desk empty. Sebastian found a note pad and pen, jotting down a note and leaving the coffee there. The security guard then resorted to doing his rounds, making his way to the children’s ward.

Jim had just finished telling stories to the child patients when he looked up to see Sebastian. He froze, caught between speaking up and escaping. He was just about to slip away when Sebastian looked up, surprised to see Jim there, awkward, as if embarrassed with his face red and eyes wide. Sebastian knew about Jim reading to the kids here, but before he could say anything Jim gave a sheepish smile and made a beeline for the elevators.

“It’s a real shame, innit?” the guard next to him said.

“What?”

“Well, I mean he comes up here every morning.”

“Yeah, he told me. He reads to the kids.”

“Yeah, well and his sister. She lives here, didn’t you know?”

Sebastian didn’t want to hear anymore. Not from a third party. He looked back to the elevator. Jim was gone. Sebastian nodded to his coworker before heading back to his office. He called Jim. No answer. He went down to the cafeteria for lunch. He didn’t eat. Playing with a napkin, he concluded Jim was avoiding him and he would wait for Jim to come to him. After fifteen minutes, Sebastian heard quick steps and a soft _thump_ as Jim slid into the seat in front of him. Relief flooded through his chest like a warm blanket. Sebastian smiled but it went unnoticed.

“Thanks for the coffee. And…um…sorry for missing your call earlier I was…working.” Jim said, staring intently at the table.

“It’s alright. I just wanted to make sure you’re doing ok. With. Your sister here.” Sebastian scratched the back of his head. Jim sniffed. Then the IT employee explained.

“She’s been a savant since birth. An accident five years ago keeps her here. People tend to…well rumors and everything. Not that you listen to them or anything. I just. Sorry.” Jim pushed at his cuticles.

Sebastian looked Jim over. “How about we get some lunch, yeah?” The two of them stood in line in silence, Sebastian paying for them both without waiting for permission, then they returned to their booth. After several bites in, Sebastian decided to get some more information.

“If you don’t mind me asking, you said Richie’s a savant. What does she do?”

Jim finally looked up. Usually people asked if he was getting compensated to keep Richie here where he works. Or they ask about what accident was bad enough to keep her here. Or why he didn’t care for her at home. Or why his parents didn’t. No one ever asked about her. “She plays piano and cello. She’s absolutely brilliant. Just stunning. Richie is fantastic and always loved performing and hasn’t let anything get in her way to keep her from playing.”

Sebastian grinned. “Brilliant like her brother, I’m sure.”

Jim smirked for a moment, then his expression went soft. “She’s the best thing in the whole world.”

Sebastian could relate. Darcy meant everything to him. She was all he had. Now he could see that Richie was all Jim had too. It was strange how alike they were. They both ended up in careers they hadn’t planned. Both of them had sisters in hospital (though Jim didn’t know that similarity yet). Both of them were single. Something fluttered in Sebastian’s stomach and it wasn’t his lunch. He pressed a hand there for a moment. He really did like Jim. Shy. Sweet. Intelligent. Protective. Jim. No more big flirt. Sebastian only wanted him.

“If you want, you could come to the talent show. It’s a few weeks from now but. You could see her play for the family and friends of the children in the ward.” Jim said quietly. Sebastian nodded.

“I’d really like that,” he said.

*****

Date three was finally underway. Sebastian picked Jim up and the two headed off to a pottery class. Jim had asked why pottery, to which Sebastian replied with a swoop of his arms, “why the hell not?” Jim laughed into Sebastian’s side. This would be fun.

Turns out neither of them were very good at it. As meticulous as Jim could be, he didn’t particularly like the texture of wet clay getting under his fingernails. And the instructor made it sound a lot easier than it actually was. Sebastian kept making stupid faces at his creation. Crinkling his nose. Huffing when the clay splattered against his smock. Sticking the tip of his tongue out just enough to touch over his lips. Jim was more and more interested in his date than his vase. The two of them ended up with one little dish-looking contraption and a small vase. Neither of them could suppress their giggles as they were sent out for tossing clay at one another.

“I’ve never gone through so much effort to make such a tiny thing. Yours looks professional compared to mine,” Sebastian said. He scrutinized over his dish, wondering where the hell he would put it. There was no way it would work as an actual kitchen plate.

“You were doing well until you decided to put clay on my nose instead of in your plate!” Jim grinned, rubbing at his nose to emphasize his point. That was when he swiped clay on Sebastian’s cheek, and it just escalated from there. “We should do that again. Maybe painting or something crazy. Like basket weaving. Basket weaving is like living on the wild side.”

“What! No way. _Underwater_ basket weaving is living on the wild side.”

“That’s not even a thing!”

“You’d be surprised.” Sebastian looked over to his date again, and was caught in a moment of stomach-fluttering again. “What are you going to do with your little pot thing? Might actually work as a vase or something.”

“Dunno yet. Might put flowers in it or something. Maybe just keep it on display as my pride and joy.” Jim lifted the vase for the world to see. It was a bit lopsided and the rim bumped up and down, but it was good enough. It was the product of a fantastic evening. Sebastian said he would probably keep keys or coins on his plate, calling it a creation of Frankenstein’s. Jim chuckled. He loved that book. So they went back to the car, talking about books until they arrived at Jim’s flat. They ascended the stairs and stopped at the familiar door leading to Jim’s room. Sebastian slipped his hands into his pockets, leaning against the wood of the door.

“So. There’s a football match on Friday. Arsenal vs Manchester. Would you like to watch it at the pub with me?”

“Sure! I’d love to. And you still want to come to the talent show, right? With Richie in it?”

“Yes. Thursday, right?” Right. There was a pause before Jim spoke up again, pulling at his long sleeve.

“She doesn’t speak. And she might not look at you really. Richie only communicates with me and only if she has to with the nurses and other kids. But she’s nice and won’t be rude to you or anything. Just treat her normally and don’t be scared of her because if you’re nervous she will know.”

Sebastian nodded. Jim kept fidgeting and he knew it was the nerves talking. The two of them had been on a few dates now, with a month of phone calls and lunch dates in between. Nevertheless. Sebastian understood that apparently whatever accident happened, it was enough to keep her permanently in the hospital. But it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to seeing different ailments people had. From cancer to mental illness to runny noses from colds, Sebastian had seen it all at Bart’s. Jim had too.

“You know. If you’d like, I can take you to meet Darcy sometime.”

Jim looked up again, letting go of his sleeve. “I’d be honored.”

“She’s been bugging me to meet you anyway,” Sebastian admitted. He had told her all about his dates with Jim. Darcy kept saying that he never talked about anyone as much as he did him. Jim mentally slapped himself. He hadn’t even mentioned Sebastian to Richie. He would now, definitely before the talent show. He just never knew a good time to bring it up.

The two of them hugged again, this time lingering. Sebastian pulled away slowly, looking at his date. Jim had initiated the hugs and even a cheek kiss. Perhaps now would be a nice time to…kiss the corner of his lips. Sebastian did just that, pulling away slowly and brushing a finger against Jim’s nose.

“Goodnight, Jim.”

Sebastian turned and headed downstairs. Jim watched him go before turning in.


	6. Music and Pub Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim introduces Sebastian to his sister, there's another date, and the boys' relationship takes on a new stage of development.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! For those curious, we are just under a third of the way through this story. Comments and suggestions are always welcome.

Jim sat back in his cushioned rocking chair, curling up his legs and letting out a sigh. It was Sunday – bills day. The numbers were getting higher. Either that, or his savings was getting lower. He rubbed his pointer finger hard over his eyebrows. The creases on his forehead would be permanent if he had to keep living like this, paycheck to paycheck. It was nice not having to worry about Richie, but the compensation hardly seemed worth it on days like today.

When Jim’s parents were killed in their head-on car accident, Richie was the only survivor. She suffered a severe head injury, leaving her prone to seizures and unable to speak. Though she could grunt or whine, she hardly tried, knowing the sounds were distorted and clogged in her throat. Jim was young, just graduated from university. He needed a job. He needed accommodations. He needed help. Bart’s gave it to him, offering work for minimum pay in a position he was completely over qualified for and in return, free lodging for Richie as long as he worked there. Though he made enough to afford the one bedroom hole-in-the-wall, sometimes the stress still got to him. He looked down at his phone at the time. 10:30pm. He should be in bed. He fell asleep in his chair, bank statements in red surrounding him.

The next morning, Jim found a coffee waiting for him at the front desk of the children’s ward. The guard on duty told him it was for him. Jim grinned, taking the hot drink and sipping it gratefully as he headed back to his desk. Sebastian had left it for him, leaving four ridiculous messages on his desk phone about not being at his office on time and missing the good times of phone calls in the morning about exploding computers. The last one was Jim’s favorite. The line was quiet on the other end for a minute, then a fond ‘see you at lunch’ before the click. The two met at their usual booth, lunches in hand. Sebastian lay a hand briefly on his coworker’s arm before sitting down. Jim spoke up first.

“I told Richie about you this morning. She knows you’ll be at the talent show.”

“Did you? Great. I look forward to meeting her.”

“So about those four messages…”

“You weren’t at your desk! What else was I suppose to do?” Sebastian winked.

The two discussed the pros and cons of working versus filling up valuable work voicemail space until both of them were called to handle another Sherlock Holmes emergency. Apparently Sherlock was angry at a computer error, wildly insulting other tech workers for being incompetent and as useful as blind rats. Sebastian showing up was enough to silence the detective (though plenty of dirty looks were exchanged between the two). Jim went to the computer and fixed it within two minutes. He stepped back, looking to the man dressed in his long coat and blue scarf and realized…he didn’t care for his approval this time. Not that he was expecting Sherlock to finally realize his competence and skill, but it no longer felt like an empty hole in his chest. There wasn’t the normal pang of yearning to be noticed. He had been noticed. Sebastian grinned at him: proud. Jim straightened his shoulders a little more as they left the yammering detective to his work.

As the week carried on, Sebastian could feel himself getting more nervous about meeting Richelle. He equated it to meeting parents of a boyfriend, not that Jim was his partner. Not yet. Richie was the only one in Jim’s life and he had kept that a secret from Sebastian since they had met. Though he wasn’t sure necessarily why, it was gut wrenching. On several occasions Sebastian found himself passing the children’s ward. Back and forth. Back and forth. Richie was just beyond the glass automatic doors. What would he say? What if he screwed it up? When Thursday rolled in, the security guard spent half his morning meditating in his office to calm down. It would be fine. _It will be fine._ Jim met him at the end of the day, hands in his pockets and gentle smile on his face.

“Ready?”

“Lead on.”

Jim brought his friend up to the children’s ward and found seats towards the middle center aisle. They didn’t hold hands. The head nurse of the department introduced the show. She was followed by a round of applause from the family, friends, and staff members all supporting these young, beautiful patients. A young boy with inoperable cancer painted the audience right in front of them, telling jokes as he did so. Another child came up to show their costume collection, wearing a dragon tail one minute, a tutu the next, and a striking three piece suit to end on. Richie was towards the end, bringing out her elegant and well kept dark wood cello to play. She glanced around until she saw Jim. Then she saw the man called Sebastian. The small girl with long black hair and fine features managed a nod to them. Then she played.

She played as though an expert. Her movements were slow, deliberate. Her thin arms moved fluidly through the air, cutting it like a knife through butter. Her expression was soft, eyes clothes and mouth turned down, with only her high eyebrows knitting together in moments of concentration. Her fingers, long and light upon the bow, looked like feathers over a thin branch. Her other hand slid up and down the cello’s neck, knowledgeable of each chord and which low notes would resonate the most. The strings reverberated in deep, mellow tones. It filled the room with a heavy emotion Sebastian couldn’t quite explain. Even as she finished, it took the crowd’s enthusiastic applause to rouse him from the reverie.

“She’s incredible, Jim. Absolutely…just. Stunning.”

Jim turned to his companion, smiling at his compliments. Richie quickly disappeared off stage, not even looking up to receive her audience. She kept the cello close to her chest. The talent show ended with a short skit performed by half the children’s ward and a standing ovation. Jim took Sebastian’s wrist gently to weave through the crowd to Richelle. It was as they drew closer Sebastian noticed the foggy haze in her eyes, the hunch of her shoulders, and the constant shifting of her arm like a slow twitch. Jim hugged her and placed a kiss on her cheek.

“Sebastian, this is my sister Richelle. And Richie, this is Sebastian.” Sebastian smiled but Richie didn’t look up. She looked down at her instrument protected in her careful grasp. Then she nodded. Jim stepped to her side, beckoning with his head for Sebastian to step forward. Doing anything to hide the nerves, the security guard bit the inside of his cheek but came forward. He smiled when Richelle finally reached forward, touching the fabric of his shirt. For a moment Sebastian wondered if she was blind. He cleared that thought. Jim would have said so. The young girl scratched at the hem, wrinkling her nose.

“I know. It’s kind of a gross fabric. My jacket feels nicer.” Sebastian offered it and Richelle felt it as well, brushing her thumb over the soft interior. She glanced up.

“You played brilliantly tonight. I really love the piece you picked.” At that, Richie looked to her older brother. Jim was grinning, nodding at his sister before looking to his coworker.

“She likes your jacket.”

The three of them stood in silence. The noise of the families and children around them seemed deafened by the moment. Richie still held to Sebastian’s jacket, Jim next to her, Sebastian in front of them both. It could have been hours but Sebastian remembered the gift he had brought. With a soft ‘oh,’ Sebastian reached into his work bag and pulled out a single fake white orchid. He felt a little silly offering it to her. Richie’s eyes grew wide a bit, but she took the flower and carefully stroked the cloth petals.

“I know, it’s fake, but I didn’t know if you were allergic or not. And I know sometimes the nurses can be really strict about what sorts of flowers are allowed in.” Sebastian scratched the back of his head, starting to wonder if he was stepping outside the lines or something without any word from the young girl and no looks of confirmation from Jim. But then Richie pulled down on Sebastian’s shirt. The man glanced between Jim and his sister. The proud older brother motioned with his arms: a hug. Sebastian lifted his chin, then dipped down to be at eye level with the cellist. She touched his face first, moving a careful finger over his eye lids and lips, the line of his chin and the bridge of his nose. Then she put her hands gently on either side of him. Sebastian wrapped his arms around her slowly; upon realizing there was no chance of startling her, he pulled her in for a warm embrace. Richelle had been through a lot. One big, tall security guard wasn’t going to intimidate her. Sebastian relaxed. As the two pulled apart, Sebastian smiled and Richie looked at him quietly.

“Thank you for letting me come listen, sweetheart.” Richelle didn’t smile, but somehow Sebastian could tell she was content.

The companions said goodbye to Richelle, the siblings sharing another cheek kiss before she took her cello to retreat to her room. Jim almost took Sebastian’s hand as they left, but refrained. They were still at the hospital. They hadn’t officially become anything. Even now he realized he hardly called Sebastian anything but by his name. Not a friend or boyfriend. Just. Sebastian. The two exited Bart’s for the parking lot when Jim finally spoke up.

“You were great with her, Sebastian. That…well it means a lot to me.”

“She’s your world like Darcy’s mine. I was just trying to be nice.”

Jim nodded. “I think too often people just…well, pity the situation instead of just being normal. They should just act normal. Not. Uncomfortable.” He shrugged. His sister was a savant. She had mental disabilities because of the accident. That didn’t make her any less of a person. It didn’t make her stupid. Jim didn’t need pity. He needed friends. Or a friend.

Sebastian offered to drive Jim home and he accepted. Usually he walked to save on money, not owning a car himself. The drive was nice. They promised to be ready for their football and pub date the next evening, hugging as they parted for the night. Sebastian went home, plopped his keys in his ugly clay plate thing, and collapsed on the couch. It had been a great day. Work had been busy enough to keep him entertained. He met Richie. He hugged Jim. He had a forth date coming up. Wait. Four dates and no real kisses? It was a record. He sat up a moment. The only kisses Jim initiated were on the cheek. Sebastian got him once at the corner of his lips. How the hell was he not stepping it up? They saw each other often enough. The opportunities had always presented themselves… Jim just. Well. Jim was different. He was actually interesting, still a mystery after weeks of talking and going on dates. Usually people could be read like a map. At least their intentions could be. Sebastian knew when a man was about to pull a trigger in the army by the way he held his gun. He knew what it looked like when a general was homophobic or when they didn’t care, their eyes telling it all. He knew when a child at the hospital was about to take something, trying hard not to stare at the item but incidentally unable to glance away from it. He knew when a teen was about to cry to get attention because a split second beforehand they would smirk or grimace or shift their eyes between their target audience, where a teen crying because something was truly wrong tended to look down or sniff. He knew when a date wanted a kiss by the touches to Sebastian’s bicep or the constant glances to his lips. He knew when a date wanted sex by the constant glances to his chest or groin. Jim had no tells about having a sister, no tells about the state of his apartment inside (though the apartment location was enough to tell Sebastian Jim was low on money), and nothing at all about anything to do with real kisses, let alone sex. He was always smiling. He was polite. He blushed when complimented. He was shy at the hospital. He was intelligent and witty and none of that pointed to the state of Richelle or his family life or his desire to be Sebastian’s boyfriend. Or did it?

Sebastian couldn’t stop thinking about him for the rest of the night.

*****

Sebastian wore Arsenal red that night. It was time for football and beer and the satisfying grease from the best fish and chips his favorite pub had to offer. He slid on his jersey, brandishing Lehmann’s name of course, and headed to the car to pick up Jim. It was Arsenal v. Manchester tonight. The camaraderie and competition would be absolutely brilliant. He knocked on Jim’s apartment door, already grinning in the hype of the game. The sidewalks were already buzzing with fans whispering their excitement to one another. Jim opened up the door, wearing a collar shirt he hoped was closer to Arsenal’s red hue than Manchester’s. He also had a nice pair of dark fitted jeans, not as loose as his faded pair he had worn to the clay date. Sebastian seemed to notice that. He was smirking.

“You look great! Come on, then. Don’t want to miss a minute!” Sebastian led the way back to the car, barely able to contain himself and his speeding limit until they pulled up to King’s Pub…to find it abandoned. He had frequented this place since living in London after army.

“What the hell?” A paper stuck to the door read license revoked in angry red letters. Sebastian scowled. This was his local. This was the place he always came to for a pint on the bad days. Now it was closed. “Shit.” He rubbed a hand across his forehead, staring at the door before side stepping back and forth. He didn’t dare try a different place. There would be riots with this game if you weren’t careful. But he didn’t want to cancel either… Sebastian looked at Jim who was standing there with concern lining his eyes.

“Well. They. Just barely got shut down. Um. If you want. We can go to my flat. I’m a decent pub chef and have some drinks…”

Jim realized this would be the first time the two would be alone together for longer than a porch light goodbye or car ride. He nodded anyway. “I can help cook.”

Sebastian asked again, just to make sure he was hearing things right, and nodded. Taking Jim’s hand, he hurried them to the car and drove quickly down to the car park of his building before rushing up to the fourth floor all the way down to the end of the hall. He pushed it open and flipped on the lights. Then he led the way in before shutting and locking the door behind Jim.

“Here it is. Home sweet home.” Sebastian swept his arm, gesturing to the flat before turning on the TV and finding the right channel. “Make yourself at home. This is the living room, obviously. Kitchen is just there. Loo is the first door down the hall. The game is here. I’ll get some chips going.” Jim watched as he moved fluidly from the television on its stand to the oven. He let out an amused hum, his date pulling out both chicken and fish for Jim to pick from.

“Chicken is great. We’ve had fish together before already.” Jim smirked.

“True enough.” Sebastian ducked into the fridge again to pull out eggs and breading, the fixings for a great chicken recipe he kept up his sleeve. Jim removed his shoes at the door (revealing fun colored striped socks) and shuffled into the kitchen to help. Between cutting off the chicken fat and breading the meat, Jim glanced around to see plenty of pictures of Sebastian with a younger girl; it was his sister. There was one frame with a full family picture at what looked like some sort of beach typical of Ireland, with lots of cliffs in the background. The furniture was simple, the couch definitely indicating frequent use with indentations curved into the cushions. The walls were painted a muted brown or tan. Jim spotted the clay creation from their last date and chuckled to himself. Sebastian nudged him with his hip. Jim elbowed him in good humor.

When the food preparations were finally done with everything in the oven, Sebastian pulled out a pair of Guinness then moved back to the living room. He motioned to the wall.

“That’s my sister, Darcy. You can see me in uniform, even, if you want.” It was a picture taken by a friend of his with him and Darcy just before he deployed. They were both smiling warmly, arms around one another, Darcy’s long blonde hair just a touch lighter than her brother’s.

“She’s pretty. Got the better genes.” Jim teased. But then the announcers’ voices could be heard from screen and it was all business. The two sat down on the couch together, Sebastian wrapping an arm around the back of the couch where his companion sat. He sang along with the Arsenal’s theme, cheered and sneered as necessary, and only left the couch to grab dinner as the timer set off. He came back with forks, dipping sauces, fresh drinks, and napkins.

“Bon appétit.”

“Excellent.”

Then it was back to the game. Jim munched away, noticing that as Sebastian sat down again they were a bit closer. Maybe it wasn’t on purpose. Maybe it was just an accident. Maybe he was imagining it. Jim scooted closer, thighs touching. By the last twenty minutes of the game, with bellies full and a clear lead by Arsenal, the two were leaning into each other’s sides. Sebastian had Jim’s hand in his. The shorter man’s head nestled perfectly in the crook of his neck. They were two puzzle pieces neatly fit as one. And he realized he liked this, sharing space with someone. All previous dates had just been that, dates. This felt like something more somehow. As the game ended, Sebastian turned to smile at Jim, his eyes glancing down a moment before meeting his date’s again.

“Thanks. For doing this with me.”

Jim didn’t respond at first, the little red flags and sensors shooting up in his brain. Sebastian had glanced at his lips. Briefly, but he had. And now he was looking at Sebastian’s as he answered, “Thank you for inviting me. I like our dates. …A lot.”

Sebastian’s lips were gentle, cradling Jim’s upper lip for just a moment as they pressed together in a chaste kiss. The back of Sebastian’s fingers brushed his cheek, swiping back to his ear briefly before the two parted. Still sharing space, they caught their breath. Jim’s eyes weren’t focused on anything in particular. He was settled in the feeling of Sebastian around him. Sharing in his apartment. In his space. Feeling the heat of his body and the soft exhale of breath. He felt his date’s thumb against his cheek. Melting. That was the sensation. Jim was melting in the best way possible, slow and warm and completely unaware. Sebastian watched him carefully, registering the way Jim’s brown eyes dilated slightly, how his breath hitched before releasing slowly. The blush rising to the shorter man’s cheeks reminded Sebastian of how shy Jim could be. It reminded him of the first time he kissed a boy, back in primary school when he was starting to realize he liked both boys and girls. Jim looked…mildly like that boy. The boy had seemed surprised, pleasantly so, that he wasn’t the only one attracted to someone of his gender. Jim had the same fond light in his eyes.

“So. When would you like to go see Darcy?” Sebastian asked softly. Jim chuckled and pressed his nose to Sebastian’s before pulling away to sit back again. He wrapped one arm around Sebastian’s back, the other crossing his front so his hands were clasped at Sebastian’s hips.

“Whenever you’re both free. You know my schedule by now.”

“Weekdays visit children’s ward and Richie. Work. Bookshop visits some nights. Home. Dates with me on weekends.”

“Spot on!” The two giggled and Sebastian couldn’t remember a moment he felt warmer in his own home.

“Maybe after a few times meeting our sisters, they can meet each other? Would Darcy be okay with that?” Jim asked.

“Yeah, I think she’d like that. As far as when she’s free…well, let’s ask her, shall we?” Sebastian pulled out his phone from his back pocket, squeezing Jim to his side as he dialed Darcy’s number.

Jim smiled. He pressed his fingers to his lips as Sebastian looked away. He felt, in that moment, that something had finally clicked into place. There would be no more fake dating with women at work, no more excuses at school for not bringing a pretty girl to a dance, no more fake crushes in his hometown growing up that his parents had found adorable, the neighbors supported, and Richie didn’t believe. Jim had kissed plenty of girls. None of those fleeting kisses compared to the kissed he had just shared, with someone he was attracted to, and liked very dearly. Jim’s thoughts scattered as a loud ‘ _REALLY?’_ came sounding through Sebastian’s cell.

“Really, really! He’s sitting right here with me and-”

“Hi Jim! Sebastian tell him I say hi!!” Darcy all but shouted through the phone.

“I’m pretty sure he heard you.” Sebastian chuckled, glancing over to Jim who had undoubtedly heard the excitement over the line. “So tomorrow and Sunday are wide open for Darcy. Tomorrow or Sunday too soon?”

Jim shook his head. “Sunday’s alright. Is one okay?” Apparently his answer was loud enough for Darcy to hear. She answered with an ‘ _absolutely positive yes!_ ’ which got Sebastian to grin his shark grin. The siblings spoke a bit longer about the football match while Jim examined his date’s hand resting comfortably on his hip. As they hung up with I-love-you’s, Jim smiled softly up to his companion.

“She seems very excited to meet a boring guy from IT.”

“That’s because you’re not boring, darling, and because I’ve already told her how great you are. She will of course insist that you fit her standards as well but don’t worry. You’ll pass with flying colors.” Because Jim was fantastic. Because he was worth every smile Sebastian gave, everything laugh, everything the security guard could give him. He deserved the world and then some. The universe. Yeah. If Jim let him, Sebastian would give him the universe. “How about a tart for dessert, yeah?”

The game recaps played in the background as Sebastian and Jim half wrestled their way into the kitchen to make dessert. Sebastian ended up half carrying the smaller man in with him, Jim laughing his self to stitches until finally released. They cut up fruit, tossed raspberries into each other’s mouths, baked their tart, giggled as they waited, pulled out the treat and scooped out vanilla bean ice cream to top it all off. As the evening wore on into night, Sebastian offered once again to drive his date home. They held hands to the car, through the car ride, all the way to Jim’s door. Jim pushed the key in the lock and turned to give Sebastian a hug. A long one this time. Just to say…thank you. Sebastian kissed his forehead before leaving with a smile and wave. Jim smiled back, touching his lips again where his date had only hours before impressed with his own mouth. Maybe it was time to take the next step. No more hiding. He wanted to be boyfriends.

Sebastian had the same thought the rest of the night.


	7. Darcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Darcy! Enjoy.

Sebastian was nervous. Darcy was a brilliant girl, and knowing Jim’s situation with his sister, there really shouldn’t be anything to be nervous about.

Sebastian was nervous.

He spent his Saturday morning pacing his flat, straightening things that were already in place, cleaning spots in the kitchen that were already clean. After filling up a quarter of the trash can with cleaning wipes, Sebastian decided a visit to the gym was in order. He walked into his room to change. Mesh gym shorts. Spandex shirt. Ankle socks. He grabbed his gym bag, putting waters and energy bars in place before heading out. The woman with wide brown eyes and thick red hair at the front desk greeted him with a knowing smile. Sebastian frequented the place, and Jean was one of those people at the gym who you bond with without actually befriending. Sebastian liked that about the gym. The frequent goers worked out together, exchanged a few words, and then went their separate ways with no obligations to each other. Sebastian never did like feeling tied down. Well. Until he met Jim, that is.

Sebastian flashed his gym membership to Jean, knowing full well she didn’t need to see it. She smirked, flipping him the bird as he headed toward lockers. He stashed his bag after pulling out a water and his iPod. He stretched in front of the mirror, retied his shoelaces, then headed for the treadmill. He ran for half an hour on level 6.5 to work up a good sweat. His workout playlist pounded in his ears, the beats of Fall Out Boy and 30 Seconds to Mars matching his strides. The blood pumping through his veins was a high Sebastian could never get enough of. The adrenaline rush he left behind in army could only come back in moments like this. He zoned in on himself, imagining the field around him, foxholes and all, as he pounded forward. He took to the free weights after his run, nodding to the guys and ladies around him whom he had worked out with before, and got to it. Where some grunted or _pfft’ed_ , Sebastian mostly kept a straight face, only gritting his teeth as the reps felt progressively heavier each time. He kept his eyes fixed on the wall of mirror before him, watching his form as his muscles shifted underneath his now sweaty shirt. The veins along his forearms protruded with each bicep curl and dead man’s lift. Beads of sweat caked his forehead. There was nothing like a good workout to forget about everything for awhile.

After a cool down jog and a wave to Jean, Sebastian got back home to shower and relax. He watched telly, got a haircut, called Darcy to make sure everything was in place to bring Jim by tomorrow, made himself a protein-heavy dinner, and went to bed without another worry. Jim would understand. He would.

It was half past noon when Sebastian picked Jim up and they hit the road. Darcy lived just outside of London so it took a little longer to get there. They were chatting along the way about nothing of consequence. Sebastian felt fine. But as they neared their destination, that nervous tingling sensation spread across Sebastian’s arms and neck. With one glance Jim could see the familiar expression. He too had it when Sebastian first met Richie.

“Are you okay?” Jim asked.

“Um. So...” Sebastian began, pressing the pads of his fingers into the hard surface of the steering wheel, “there’s something I haven’t told you about Darcy. She’s… she lives in a long-term care facility hospital thing. Because she’s got chronic leukemia. I didn’t tell you because she doesn’t want pity friends. She wants people to know her before they know the cancer.” _And too many previous hopefuls wouldn’t meet her because of it,_ Sebastian reflected. At the pause, Jim raised his eyebrows. Sebastian continued.

“Normally, I wouldn’t have brought you out this early to meet her. But. After learning about your sister, I feel like you understand. And, well, I trust you.” Sebastian finished with a nod toward Jim, but it looked more like a nod of self-encouragement. Jim looked forward and saw the facility just ahead. Though the news was quite honestly surprising, that such coincidences actually existed in the world, he was a bit more confused as to why Sebastian hadn’t said anything immediately. Then again, he really didn’t have a right to talk.

“I look forward to meeting her. No matter what.” Jim said. Sebastian nodded again, but this time with a smile.

They parked the car and crossed over to the front doors of the large building, Mount Hope Center for Long Term Care. They checked in, Sebastian writing down Jim as a guest, before slipping his hand into Jim’s to lead him to the elevator. Sebastian hit the button for the fourth floor, watching the circle light up a dull yellow. Darcy was excited to meet Jim. Now he just had to relax. They moved down the sky blue painted hallway to room 417. The building was nice, Jim had to admit. There were people milling about in gathering areas and nice paintings hanging on the walls. Had it not been for the medical equipment around every corner, Jim could have called it a hotel.

Sebastian didn’t bother knocking as he entered the room, walking through a living room space to the back bedroom. There she was, sitting on her bed with a bandana over her short (almost shoulder-length) blonde hair, knitting until she looked up.

“Sebastian!” Her face broke into a huge grin. She flung her thin, little body off the bed and right into her brother’s arms. Sebastian easily lifted her into a hug. “You made it.” As the older brother carefully placed Darcy back on the floor, the young girl looked at the man standing just behind them. “You must be Jim!” She moved over to him, giving him a hug as well. This was the man who made her brother so happy. She liked him already. “It’s so good to meet you, _finally_.” She glanced at her brother on the final word, with an eyebrow raised to emphasize her point.

“Yes, I’m Jim. Good to meet you too.” Jim returned the hug gently before lifting the bag in his hands. “I’ve brought you a get-to-know-you present. Hope that’s okay.” He would have bought a flower, but that of course would be copying Sebastian. Couldn’t have that.

“Oh! You didn’t have to do that!” Darcy nonetheless opened the bag with full enthusiasm, a floppy, medium sized brown bear easily slipping out of its wrapping and into her hands. She hugged it to her chest, grinning ever still. “Oh, it’s brilliant. He’s a keeper, Sebastian, and no mistake. If you don’t keep him, then I will!” Sebastian wrinkled his nose at her before lifting her back into bed. He patted the side of her leg to get her to scoot, sliding in next to her. He then motioned for Jim to come over and join them. He did so, sitting on the edge of the bed nearer to Sebastian.

“How you feeling today?” Sebastian asked.

“Oh, fine, as usual. Jim, you work in IT? I heard you outsmarted my brother’s computer.” Sebastian rolled his arms and lightly slapped her arm.

“Oh. Well yes, I work in IT. Just a few fixes here and there. Your brother just isn’t very tech savvy I’m afraid.” _But it keeps me around,_ Jim thought. “What do you like to do? I’ve got a sister too actually. She plays piano and cello in her free time.”

Darcy smiled. It was a similar quality she shared with her brother: lots of happy smiles despite circumstances. “Well. I knit a lot. And sew. I’ve learned how to sew skirts and things! I draw, too but that’s not very interesting because Sebastian is much better than I am.” Jim raised his head as Sebastian ducked his, scratching the nape of his neck. Darcy continued unaware. “I watch a lot of television and movies some days. And I’m going to university as well! I take classes online and I have a private tutor that comes a couple times a week.”

The young girl kept herself busy. There was no use crying over cancer, at least not all the time. Sometimes tears were alright. She shared those moments with her brother on occasion. But staying inactive was not an option. It was something she would fight as long as she was able. She did punch her brother’s arm for not mentioning Jim had a sister.

“Sebastian failed to mention you had a sister. What’s she like?”

Jim hesitated a moment. “She’s pale like I am. Long black hair. Like I said she plays cello and piano a lot and likes stories. She’s quiet though. Keeps to herself. We’re pretty close too, like you and Sebastian.” He took Sebastian’s hand then, threading their fingers together. It didn’t go unnoticed by Darcy, who acted as though nothing happened by speaking up again.

“She sounds really sweet. Man, I am so glad Sebastian’s been dating you and not some bimbo-headed rich girl like Cassy’s dad. She lives down the hall. Her dad’s got a new girlfriend and she’s completely empty-headed. She’s so daft and thinks she’s being sweet when she’s being blatantly offensive.” Darcy shook her head sadly, leaning on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Thanks for not dating losers, Bas.”

Sebastian chuckled warmly, nudging her head with his chin. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

The three of them visited, Sebastian and Jim getting the latest gossip of every patient living on the fourth floor, including the story of Dean stealing extra pudding cups from the kitchen late at night and getting caught by Nurse Susan, who was actually taking extra slices of bread to feed pigeons that came to her office window at night. They had a good laugh about that one. After a few hours it was time to go. Darcy walked them both downstairs, tired of being cooped up in her room recently (she had been extra tired this week, which kept her in bed most of the day) and relishing the chance to even step into the hallway. They made it to the lobby where Darcy gave one last hug to Jim before they left.

“It was really lovely to meet you. Thanks for having me come by.” Jim said.

“Thanks so much for coming. You have to come by again, okay?”

“Because you’ll keep me if Sebastian doesn’t, right?” He teased. Darcy nodded with a smirk towards her brother, who shook his head before embracing her too. He whispered something softly into her ear, which she whispered back as they pulled apart. Jim and Sebastian left with a wave. Darcy grinned at them both before heading back up the elevator.

The drive back to Jim’s place was relatively quiet. The afternoon sunlight was a rare nicety, shining through the front window and bathing them in a gentle yellow glow. Jim took the time to gaze over Sebastian. The gleam fell nicely over his friend’s short, newly cut hair, making it look more gold than yellow. His face was serene, the muscles of his jaw relaxed and lines around his eyes soft. His green eyes were steady on the road ahead. His arms bent at gentle angles to hold the wheel. Jim didn’t know why it struck him so, but he would remember Sebastian’s calm expression for a long time.

“Thank you for letting me meet her. I imagine it’s just as big a deal to you, me meeting Darcy, as it was to me when you met Richie.”

Sebastian reached out to gently take Jim’s hand. “It is. Darcy’s my family. And I love her to death. But you can imagine bringing people to meet her who don’t understand, or who are uneasy with something they don’t understand.” Darcy was a perfectly able and capable young woman. She just stayed at the facility in case of a sudden relapse. Plus her immune system was extra sensitive so she got sick a lot. Their parents were long gone and Sebastian couldn’t take care of her all the time and work a full time job to pay for them both. Money could be tight, but he didn’t care. His sister was happy and well cared for. That’s what mattered. Jim shared the same sentiment, and understood fairly well the complicated emotions that come with putting family in a care facility.

Sebastian pulled up to the flat and the two walked inside in resumed silence. At the door, hands still tangled and both hesitating, Jim broke the silence with stumbling words.

“I don’t know if…you have anything planned or something but maybe you want to…come inside? Just. Just for dinner or something. If you want. You don’t have to.”

Sebastian looked up a bit surprised. Jim hadn’t invited him inside in all the weeks they had been dating. He also figured after spending all night together Friday at his place, then all afternoon together at Darcy’s, Jim would want some space again. Apparently not. Brilliant.

“Yes. I’d like to.”

The door opened to a small apartment. The living room and kitchen were in the front, open and in full view with bathroom and bedroom doors in the back. To the right, the living room was painted a goldenrod yellow, a complimentary shade of purple in the kitchen. Though tiny, Jim definitely made it his home. There were knick-knacks everywhere on white shelves hanging on the wall and above the cabinets in the kitchen just to the left. Jim rubbed his hands together as he headed towards the sliding doors of the pantry.

“Do you like spaghetti and meatballs? I have some homemade ones already made. They just need heating up.”

“That sounds lovely. Can I help?”

“Want to get drinks? I don’t have any beers, sorry. But I’ve got water and juice. Glasses are in the cupboard above the sink.” Jim pulled out the pasta noodles to start cooking while Sebastian set the table. Well. Set the island. Jim didn’t have a dining room, or a kitchen table for that matter. While Jim strained the noodles, Sebastian took a secret taste test of the sauce. Holy shit.

“This is fantastic. Where did you learn to make sauce like this?” Sebastian’s eyes were wide with delight.

“Oh. It’s my mum’s recipe. Learned it when I was a kid because spaghetti and meatballs is my favorite meal. Not very Irish of me, is it?” He smiled softly, rationing out the pasta and heating the two fist sized meatballs ready to be devoured. “What’s your favorite meal?”

“Oh no. Now I’m going to sound extra Irish. I love a really good shepherd’s pie. I can’t make it like my mum did so. I haven’t really had it for awhile.” Sebastian sometimes ordered it when he and Darcy went out to eat but that wasn’t very often. Plus there’s nothing quite like a mother’s cooking. The two sat down at the island to dig in, Sebastian complimenting the homemade meatballs as well. Jim was a fantastic cook.

“So. When did you come to England? You are from Dublin, right?” Sebastian was sure he could detect the Dublin accent hiding away in that soft little voice.

“Right after uni, basically. That’s when Richie needed Bart’s and I got a job. I was at Cambridge for school and Dublin before that. Did you get here after army?”

“No. We moved here when I was fifteen. Dad got a job here. I finished school and started uni in the city until I decided the army was better for me.” By then Darcy had gotten sick and was staying at Bart’s before transferring to Mount Hope. Sebastian took another bite of meatball, letting the natural pause fill in before continuing. “My parents died just as I was starting school. Car accident. So that’s why I didn’t do well at university and decided to get a job that could help Darcy. So. I joined the army here so she could stay at the hospital.”

There was an even longer pause as Jim dropped his fork and looked hard at the man next to him. If Jim had believed in God, he’d of called it a miracle. If he believed in destiny, he would have called this fate. As it happens, Jim didn’t believe in any of that. He had no way of explaining the phenomenon that was Sebastian Moran.

“My parents died in a wreck. Richie was in it and that’s how she got the brain damage. I was just finishing uni when it happened so I started at Bart’s to care for her. I took the first job I could get with as little pay as possible so they’d keep her there as long as I work there.”

Sebastian stared. “Oh. I… Oh.”

Neither of them could look at the other. They didn’t even speak again until after their plates had been licked clean of pasta and meatballs. Jim cleared his throat and gestured to the large grey couch.

“We can move to the living room if you want telly on or something. I only have five basic channels, but Top Gear is nearly always on anyway if you like that show.”

“Yeah, alright.” Sebastian came back to himself, mentally shaking himself awake before standing to help clean dishes.

The rest of the evening was quiet. Jim’s eyes were glossy, facing the television but clearly not taking in anything that was happening. Sebastian couldn’t help drawing circle patterns into the arm of the soft couch. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a sign. They met at work. Both had sisters with medical conditions. Both lost their parents to accidents. There was too much happening to make this coincidence. The world didn’t work like that. They were meant to be together and somehow the universe was giving him the moment to make it official. Sebastian noticed the time. He should be leaving soon. They both had work in the morning. Even as they both made their way to the door, Jim’s fingers just brushing the doorknob, Sebastian could feel his heart trying to escape his chest.

“Wait. Um. Jim? I was wondering… We’ve been dating for awhile now and it’s really been great,” Jim’s eyes were incredibly soft. It was a gentle brown, like pools of warm chocolate. Sebastian swallowed. “And if you’re interested…” His lips were slightly parted, and Sebastian swears he should have heard him breathing they were so close. Instead, his blood was pumping loudly in his ears, like it did when he ran for miles and miles. “Would you be my boyfriend?”

Jim’s answer stumbled out in a bashful mess. “Yes. Yes I would love to be yours. Your boyfriend, I mean. Yes. Yeah.” His face flushed red all the way to the tips of his perfect ears. He reached on tip toe, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s neck for a hug. Sebastian grinned stupidly, gently wrapping Jim up before pulling away just enough to give him a solid kiss. It was slow and languid, Sebastian cupping his new boyfriend’s face with both his calloused hands. They pulled apart then, each taking a breath.

“My boyfriend.” Sebastian whispered. He pressed their foreheads together, touching noses in little Eskimo kisses before reaching for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Jim nodded.

“Goodnight, Sebastian.” _Goodnight, boyfriend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mount Hope Center for Long Term Care is actually a long term facility in London, Ontario, Canada. I have no idea what it looks like, and I don't know if they house young adults. This is merely a work of fiction and I used that name because I thought it was funny, naming a place in London that's not in England.


	8. Boyfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day as boyfriends.

As Sebastian headed back to his own flat, he felt a new kick in his step. Sure he still lived alone, but now…now he had a life with someone else in it. They didn’t have to live together but they were together. That was more than enough for Sebastian. Jim, however, suddenly wasn’t feeling so confident.

Jim closed the door after his boyfriend left and quickly did a little winning dance. He had a boyfriend! Not a fake girlfriend. Not a distant crush. A boyfriend. Someone he really, really liked that really, really liked him back. Enough to be in a relationship. It was the best feeling in the world. And. And then also the scariest. What if he messed up? What if he was rushing into things even though they had gone on plenty of dates? What if Sebastian turned out to not like him? Jim went to bed both happy and sad, the butterflies in his stomach mixing with an uneasy churning of his heart. Even the next morning at the hospital he felt an odd mix of ecstasy and fear-induced catatonia. Richie could see it in his face as he met with her for story time.

Sebastian walked into the hospital with two cups of coffee and a smashing grin. He popped by Jim’s office, offering him his favorite brew.

“Hello. I brought coffee.”

“Oh you didn’t have to do that. Thank you.”

Jim sipped it quietly and after a minute of silence, Sebastian’s smile faltered and Jim couldn’t handle seeing that even for a moment. He instantly moved to Sebastian’s arms.

“I’m nervous. I’m really scared I’m going to mess this up and I don’t want to because I really like you a lot and Richie thinks I should just tell you that I’m incredibly happy but also slightly very scared I’m sorry.” The words spilled from his lips at no more than a whisper. He felt immature. He felt inexperienced. He felt like a child again, too nervous to ask a boy to be his own.

“Hey,” Sebastian said, looking down and brushing his hand through Jim’s hair, “It’s alright. It’s pretty normal to be nervous.” But now the seed of doubt was planted and starting to spread like a weed. Sebastian wanted to rip it out of his chest. “Am I around too much? I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you.”

“No!” Jim quickly cut him off, stepping back to be in Sebastian’s full sight. Sebastian raised an eyebrow. Jim grew quieter again. “No. I love being around you. It’s the best part. I even wish we had more time after each date but I don’t mean it in a clingy way, you know? I’m just…”

“Just what?”

Jim looked to the floor, grateful for the partitions around him. “You’re my first boyfriend. I just want you to know that even though I’m not very confident in myself, you make me feel like superman.”  
Sebastian watched this man before him, stammering and shaking with nerves. For a moment, he felt like asking if Jim had ever been bullied for his sexuality. There had been a lot of talk when Jim started dating Molly Hooper, and even more rumors when Sherlock called Jim gay, leading to a subsequent break up. Molly only said that she broke it off with him. Sebastian never did hear Jim’s side. He felt his cheeks tingle. Suddenly, he too was glad for the partitions.

“Hey. Come here.”

Jim came a little closer and Sebastian took the chance to steal a quick, gentle kiss.

“Listen to me. You’re smart. Handsome. Clever. Funny. You put up with me and if you ask Darcy, you should be sainted for that one.” Jim laughed through his teeth and looked up. Sebastian took his hand.

“It’s okay that you’re scared. But…guess what?”

“What?”

“I’m the luckiest man alive because I get to be with you.”

Jim hugged him even tighter for that.

Before parting, Jim told Sebastian not to worry about paying for lunch. He had brought them both something from home. The security guard was pleased with that, placing an appreciative kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead before leaving to get to his rounds. They met later in the cafeteria at their usual table. Jim had made them chicken salad, bringing cheese and crackers as a side. Simple, but Sebastian knew they were both on a tight budget. It was cheaper than always buying cafeteria food. And this was made with love. Always tastier.

“So in case you couldn’t tell, we have Richie’s blessing.” Jim said. She told him that if Sebastian was serious, he wouldn’t be daunted by Jim’s natural and understandable nerves. She was right.

“Good. It would make me a little nervous not to have it. I haven’t called Darcy just yet for fear she’ll break the sound barrier.” They both shared a chuckle over that. “Do you want to get pizza after work? Then we can tell Darcy together.”

“Yes. I’d like that.”

They both took another couple bites of food, Sebastian sighing contently. He complemented his boyfriend’s cooking. Then his shirt choice. Then his fluffy hair and Jim laughed and pushed his arm in play. If anything, he was glad he liked their meal. Jim didn’t want to be the source of all Sebastian’s money. By making lunches, he could help pay back for all the nice dates and lunch money he felt indebted for.

The two talked about what movie to watch during their pizza night. They narrowed down their options by genre, then movie length. Then they talked about what was good on a pizza (Jim favored pepperoni, mushrooms and onions and peppers too but not necessary to enjoy an awesome pizza; Sebastian just the pepperoni and cheese). They settled on a time. Then they moved on to discussing allergies, how it took a fun family trip to France to discover Sebastian’s allergy to shellfish, and a massive reaction to a bee sting to discover Jim’s. They talked about birthdays, their parents, financial situations, and of course the up and coming holidays.

“Do you celebrate Christmas? I don’t know if you’re religious or anything.” Jim asked.

“We went to church a bit when I was a kid, but Darcy and I don’t go anymore. We do believe in God, and we celebrate Christmas and birthdays together, but that’s about it.” Sebastian shrugged. He wasn’t a particular fan of organized religion. He was comfortable with what he had and didn’t feel the need for anything else. It wasn’t much of a faith but more a belief. God existed. He put him and Darcy together as siblings. He stuck them on their own because they were strong enough to handle it. Sebastian was comfortable believing that because it meant his parents were in heaven. And Darcy would go to heaven too, when it was her time to go. They were good people. They had their struggles, but they survived.

Jim took another bite of his sandwich, looking down. His parents had been active Irish Catholics. Richelle had been active herself. Jim wasn’t ever really sure about it. He wandered, dabbling around different churches and not caring for any of them. His parents were good enough to let him explore, not condemning him for his, what, lack of faith? When they died though, and when Richie was left with brain damage on top of her savant syndrome, Jim stopped hoping for a bigger picture.

“I think it’s all out of my hands anyway. I like Christmas…but celebrate just being a family and being kind to others with gift giving or service. I don’t really think about it as the celebration of Jesus’ birth. My parents and Richie did. But I was never really convinced of anything.”

“I like Christmas because I take a lot of time off and just spend it with Darcy.” Sebastian grinned and they both chuckled. “We go on day holidays to see the countryside or the seaside even though it’s a bit cold. I’m sure Richie would like the little countryside day trips, if she could go.”

Jim slanted his lips in a half smile, half frown. “Richie hasn’t touched a car since the accident.”

Sebastian felt a pit in his stomach. He should have figured that.

“But I’m sure she’d love to have you and Darcy visit during the holidays. Can she travel much? I mean. Obviously she can go on long rides to the country but. I’m guessing it isn’t all that much.”

“Yeah, Darcy and I can come visit. She’d love to. She can travel a fair amount when in remission like she is now. And hopefully will be for awhile yet. And when she isn’t sick, which is more often than we like.” Sebastian looked down then, his eyebrows briefly knitting. One night away from the facility and then it’s right back in, usually. She got so tired of her bedroom. He would even rearrange the furniture sometimes to give it some variety. It was boring. Darcy got so bored. Sometimes it was just hard to stay positive about it and he felt so… Sebastian glanced up, feeling Jim’s leg gently pressing against the inside of his knee. Jim knew what he was feeling. He often felt it too, churning in his stomach like a virus that spread uncomfortably to his heart. You can’t always fix what’s broken. To Jim, it was the worst feeling of all. Sebastian cleared his throat.

“So, um. Shall I bring us lunch for tomorrow?” He asked.

“Mmm…no. I’ll cover for us again.” Jim said, gathering their trash. “I have to make up for at least a few of our lunches and dates together.” He walked toward the bins, Sebastian remaining in his seat a moment before standing to meet his boyfriend. They walked together from the cafeteria to Jim’s office where Sebastian left him to do his rounds. Jim would meet him at his office after his work day. Sebastian always finished an hour later. So as the afternoon waned on, Jim working computers and Sebastian ensuring hospital safety, Sebastian thought about tonight. Darcy would be so pleased to hear about their new relationship status. He was over the moon that Richie already approved. Family always came first. To have the family approval, even if the family was a group of one, meant a lot.

Sebastian finished his rounds and concluded his day with boring paperwork. Jim flounced in, sitting across the desk from him. The security guard bit his lip with a stupid grin on his face. His boyfriend was adorable.

“I’ll be finished soon so we can go.”

“Better hurry. Don’t want to get bored and have to reprogram all the security screens to repeat infomercials from America.”

Sebastian grinned even wider and Jim curled up in his chair with a smile to match. When Sebastian did finally finish, they left together. Jim’s hands were carefully tucked into his pockets until they were outside. Then the pair clasped hands as they approached Sebastian’s car.

“Kind of a slow Monday, wasn’t it?”

“Mm. But as far as my job is concerned, a slow day is a good day. Good for my shoulder anyway.”

The boyfriends hopped into the car and Sebastian started the engine, involuntarily rolling his shoulders. Jim hummed. He noticed the ice pack Sebastian always kept in his mini-fridge under his desk. On busier weeks (i.e. Sebastian has to man handle patients and/or patients’ visitors), the security guard would have to ice his shoulder at his desk. It would act up occasionally of its own accord. Most times, however, it took instigating for the muscle to spasm. Sebastian was just glad it wasn’t too over reactive. That fall could have been a lot worse.

“So are we going to see Darcy and tell her or just phone her?”

“We’ll just phone her. She texted me earlier and apparently they got a new patient up there whose family isn’t taking it well. It’s best to stay out of the way for now.” Sebastian remembered an occasion when he had brought take away to his sister and an unhappy father accused him of being heartless, shaming him for being so carefree and smiling when his own flesh and blood was stuck in a hospital bed for the rest of her life. It was a good thing another nurse was already there escorting the man downstairs. Sebastian would have cracked him one right in the nose for being an ass.

The two picked up pizzas and arrived at Sebastian’s flat in no time, Jim going to the kitchen to pull out plates to serve out dinner. As they settled on the couch, Sebastian whipped out his phone. Jim passed him his plate and set down the beers as Darcy picked up, the phone on speaker.

“Hey! You’re not coming up are you?”

“No, sweetheart. I got your text. No. It’s not that.”

“Oh. Okay. What’s up then?”

“Well. I’ve got a certain someone here,” Jim cut in by saying hello before Sebastian continued, “and I’d like to reintroduce him to you…”

“Bassss…”

“As my boyfriend.”

It was clear Darcy had dropped her phone as the cheer seemed to be coming from far away. After a few moments, the line crinkled with the sound of movement, then Darcy’s voice was back on the line.

“Sebastian! I’m so happy! Jim you two have to come back out! And I need to know your favorite colors. It is of vital importance.”

Jim didn’t know what favorite colors had to do with anything, but he answered with silver, cerulean, and light purple. Sebastian made a comment about how ridiculous he sounded answering with “cerulean.” Jim poked him in the stomach. They grinned together, but shifted to focus as Darcy’s voice came through again.

“Good. I like those too. And I’m going to take this chance to say you two are so cute together. That I am the luckiest sister in the world. Ooooh I’m just so happy! Sebastian I would have punched you if you two didn’t get together and you know I’m serious!”

Sebastian chuckled warmly, gently pressing the side of his face against Jim’s head. He was happy. He felt like he was glowing and melting simultaneously. Darcy prattled on a bit longer, asking after the things Jim liked before finally sighing happily.

“Alright. I’ve gotta get down for dinner. Jim. Welcome to our crazy little family.”

Sebastian said ‘speak for yourself’ and Darcy cooed over the phone. They hung up after a mutual ‘I love you’ and Sebastian sighed. They had his sister’s blessing. They had Richie’s ‘okay.’ He couldn’t be more relieved. So pizza and movie night was an official go as they popped in a film and settled down again. The movie was about a half hour from being over when Jim decided. He just. Wanted to do something a little more. To show that he was comfortable here. In this space. With Sebastian. Jim waited another few moments, debating in his mind to remain still or be more proactive.

After another ten minutes Jim closed his eyes tight and said quietly, “Sebastian?”

As Sebastian turned his head, Jim leaned up and took a quick, soft, chaste kiss. He then quickly snuggled back into his spot, leaning his head against the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. Sebastian smiled warmly, pulling his boyfriend in closer to his side. It was nice to see Jim initiate too. Perhaps it was slower than what Sebastian was used to, but he was a patient man. He would wait a thousand life times to have these moments with Jim. Sebastian brushed his hand over Jim’s arm, feeling goosebumps. In no time, the security guard snagged an old sweatshirt from his bedroom and handed it over. Jim took it gratefully. He slipped it on. It was huge on him. Jim was lean, he knew, and a good several inches shorter than his built up ex-sniper security guard boyfriend. But the sweatshirt was warm and soft, and it engulfed him in Sebastian’s scent. Jim whispered his thanks. Sebastian held back a grin. Yeah. His boyfriend was adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, and that this chapter is short. I've been out of town, and working, and sick. But I wanted to give you guys something to say I haven't forgotten about you. :)


	9. Honeymoon Stage Part I - On Sick Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian gets sick and Jim takes care of him.

Sometimes there is nothing better than the first several weeks of a new relationship. Jim had already moved past his initial doubts and fears; he felt more and more confident each morning he saw Sebastian smiling at him. Sebastian couldn’t remember being happier. Being in a relationship with Jim was the best decision he had ever made.

Despite keeping a low profile at work, the two would always greet each other in the morning, eat lunch at noon, and say goodbye at the end of the day. Sometimes they would miss lunches when Sebastian had an emergency call or if Jim was pulled into a meeting. Even then they always sent a text to the other to cancel. So when Sebastian hadn’t come up to Jim’s office for his routine good morning hello, Jim was a bit confused. As it drew closer to lunchtime and there was still no word from his boyfriend, Jim went to the security office. Sebastian wasn’t at his desk.

“He’s out sick today.”

“Oh.” Jim looked up to see Andy, a fellow security guard and Sebastian’s usual replacement.

“Called in with the flu. Need someone else to sit with?”

Andy winked at him and it unsettled Jim.

“What?”

“At lunch. You two always sit together.”

“Oh.” Jim said again. He scratched the back of his head and looked down. Andy was one of the ones that liked gossip. He was always seen chatting with the women at the front desk, the ladies forcing laughs and playfully swatting in the air. Jim never understood the appeal.

“Better run. Molly was saying something about broken lab equipment again.” Jim mumbled the excuse as he turned to leave.

He heard Andy chuckling behind him.

Jim had decided not to text his boyfriend. If he was really sick, Jim didn’t want to risk waking him with an annoying phone chime. Sebastian always had his phone on ring for emergencies. Jim understood. You never know what will happen in the middle of the day to someone you love. So he decided to finish his shift and take a special trip to the store. There he could pick up soup, tea, tissues, cough drops, medicine, crackers, bread, and any other foods or materials best to combat the flu. No boyfriend of Jim’s was going to get sick and suffer alone.

When Sebastian heard the knock on the door he moaned and looked at the clock. Almost six in the evening. He had slept the day away. Earlier that morning he had planned on texting Jim to cancel their lunch plans. Things had been going so well, and he had looked forward to sharing yet another meal with his boyfriend. Apparently his immune system had other plans. That’s what he got for working in a hospital, he supposed. Shaking and coughing, Sebastian shuffled from his room and went to the front door. Through the peep hole he found an adorable flop of black hair. He opened the door.

“You sure you shouldn't be wearing a hazmat suit?”

Jim raised an eyebrow. Sebastian’s voice sounded even deeper than usual, clogged and scratchy at the same time. He looked awful.

“I’ll hold my breath.”

Sebastian gave a half smile. His loose army shirt stuck to the sweat of his back, his gym shorts hanging low on his hips. He had two pairs of socks on and his hair was sticking up at odd ends. Jim would have said he looked adorable had his boyfriend not looked so exhausted.

“Gonna let me wait on my boyfriend? Come on. I brought presents.”

Sebastian stepped aside and let Jim come in. The living room and kitchen looked untouched. Sebastian must have stayed in bed all day, Jim thought. He noticed the bedroom door open with an unmade bed and drawn curtains. He would have slept all day, then. The Irishman set his bags on the kitchen counter, pulling out soup and washcloths and a blanket. He even brought the sweatshirt Jim “accidentally” kept borrowing from Sebastian after they had had their pizza night. Jim turned to see Sebastian wobbling a bit. He sighed and walked over to him, carefully placing his hands on Sebastian’s arms.

“Have you tried eating anything?”

“No. I just woke up…um. Just now.”

Sebastian sniffled, closing his eyes as if trying to remember something. Jim took his hands and brought him down the hall. Sebastian needed to lie down before he fell down. As they walked into the bedroom, Jim noticed the smell. It felt a bit stale, like a hospital room with a patient inside. Jim noticed the sheets all twisted and damp. Sebastian’s fever clearly hadn’t let him sleep all that well. New plan.

“Come on, love. To the couch instead.”

Jim brought his new patient back into the living room, laying him down and covering him in blankets, plus the new one he had brought over. He put a pillow under Sebastian’s head, cradling his neck a moment as he set it back comfortably. Jim placed the back of his fingers to Sebastian’s forehead. Hot. He needed more medicine then. Sebastian sighed at the touch.

“M’sorry. I didn’t text you.” Sebastian mumbled.

“Don’t worry about that. I’m going to make you some soup and have you eat a bit. You lay here and watch telly. Just try and relax.”

Jim turned on the television, keeping the volume low as to not assault Sebastian’s senses. Jim knew getting sick always made everything seem brighter or louder than usual. He returned to the kitchen, pulling out a pot to heat the chicken broth and a plate for the soda crackers. He prepared the broth silently, listening for his boyfriend should he call. He set the proper dose of medicine on the plate as well, and after pouring the soup into a bowl, Jim brought everything over in careful hands.

“Here. Try some of this. And drink some water. Have to get your fluids up.”

With Jim’s help, Sebastian sat up a bit and tried to relax back into the arm of the sofa. His body felt relaxed and tense at the same time, his skin prickling at everything. It made him uncomfortable. Sleeping had been hell. But at the first touch of broth against his throat, Sebastian sighed quietly in relief.

“S’good.”

“Good. Take the meds too. It will help.”

Jim cared for his boyfriend, waiting on him as needed. Sebastian only ate a few spoonfuls of soup before he said it was settling funny in his stomach. Jim hadn’t pushed him to eat any further, but did encourage him to drink his water. Even if he threw it all up again, it was better to have something coming up than dry heaving. Sebastian reclined on the couch again, watching as Jim put everything away and brought a washcloth to put on his forehead. Sebastian sighed again. Jim was so nice. Not taking advantage of him while he’s sick. Keeping his head cool. Covering him with blankets and making soup.

“You’re so…so…” Sebastian started, thinking sleepily.

Jim tilted his head.

“I like you.” Sebastian finished, deciding to simplify what he was going to say.

“I like you too, Sebastian. Sleep, now.”

Sebastian pressed his face to Jim’s chest as Jim leaned into him. The pain from coughing was tearing through his abs. But Jim kept close, brushing Sebastian’s hair out of his eyes as he curled up as close to Jim as possible. When Sebastian finally fell asleep again, Jim pressed a soft kiss to his temple before getting up. But Sebastian reached out, catching Jim off guard by the hand.

“How long can you stay?” Sebastian’s voice scratched uncomfortably.

“As long as you want me,” Jim answered. That seemed to satiate him. Sebastian went right back to sleep, his eyes closing loosely and a breath escaping through his lips. Jim watched him a moment before moving back to the bedroom. He stripped the sheets and pillow cases, gathering them up for a good washing. He spent the rest of the evening cleaning and caring for Sebastian, there to rub his back when he vomited and brush his hair when he needed touch. He helped him eat more soup. He helped him drink herbal tea and water. Jim was just there for anything his boyfriend needed.

After the bed sheets had dried and been replaced on the bed, Jim walked back to the living room. Sebastian was still feverish, shaking and smelling of vile. His shirt and shorts were covered in sweat too. He really needed to change. Jim sighed, placing a hand carefully on Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Sebastian. Come on, love. You need to get changed and come to bed.”

Sebastian grumbled, unwilling to move. Jim helped him up, softly encouraging him to follow. They went back to the bedroom, Jim sitting his boyfriend on the edge of the bed while he grabbed a new set of pajamas. He handed Sebastian a new t-shirt with another army logo on it and loose trousers.

Sebastian looked at the foreign objects in his hand. Ah. Clothes. Right. He nodded stupidly. His brain had been running on slow all day. Sebastian slowly pulled up his sweaty shirt, his sleeves getting caught. His arms felt like lead. Why was this suddenly so hard?

Jim stood there. Watching. He gazed over Sebastian’s torso, the muscle twisting as the ex-sniper tried to get free of his shirt. He ran his tongue subconsciously over his chapped lips. It took a good sixty seconds for him to realize his boyfriend needed help. Jim stepped up cautiously, taking Sebastian’s sleeves and pulling the shirt up to free his boyfriend. He helped him change, gently pulling his arms through the new shirt before helping with his trousers. Jim couldn’t stop thinking of what he’d seen.

Jim hadn’t expected the tattooed black tiger prowling dangerously down Sebastian’s left side. The tail started just under Sebastian’s left armpit, the full body of the tiger inked perfectly into his side as it crawled down, shoulders hunched, eyes fierce, the front paws ending just at the left hipbone. He should have expected it. Plenty of people in the armed forces got tattoos. He just never imagined Sebastian having one covering half his torso. Jim couldn’t say he was disappointed in this little fact either.

After Sebastian was dressed and the dirty clothes had been tossed into the hamper, Jim tucked his boyfriend under the covers and warm blankets. He kissed the top of Sebastian’s head.

“Think you can fall asleep soon?”

“Probably.” Sebastian croaked.

It was quiet a few minutes, Sebastian on the verge of dreams and reality, his body aching, boiling and freezing simultaneously. Something sad crossed his mind.

“Will you leave when I do?”

Jim looked at the man laying there before him, hair greasy and matted, mouth frowning, eyes weary. He shook his head.

“No, no. I was just going to do the wash then sleep on the couch.” He paused a moment. “Did…you want me to stay here?”

Sebastian forced his eyes open a bit more. Here? Like in the bedroom here?

“Yeah. But. I don’t want to get you sick.” As he said it, another coughing fit attacked and Sebastian covered his mouth with an arm, his body racking.

Jim half frowned, waiting for the coughing to subside.

“You just get some sleep. I’ll check on you or. Maybe I’ll sleep on the floor but you need rest. I won’t leave until work in the morning, okay?”

Sebastian nodded. Taking Jim’s free arm, he gently pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

Jim woke up at one in the morning to the sound of Sebastian expelling the contents of his stomach in the connecting loo. Jim sat up from the floor he had taken to the previous night and kicked off the blankets. There in the bathroom was his boyfriend, lurched over the toilet with his forehead pressed to the seat. Jim grabbed a clean washcloth and sat next to Sebastian, cleaning the sick from his lips and wiping his forehead. He looked awful. His eyes were bloodshot and watery, nose dripping. Jim cleaned up and brought Sebastian back to his bed after a few minutes without a word. Sebastian dropped into bed again, groaning. Everything hurt. He kept grunting and sniffling and Jim realized after a half hour that Sebastian wasn’t getting back to sleep, despite the p.m. meds. Sitting up again, Jim climbed in next to his boyfriend. He pulled him gently into his arms. Sebastian felt hyperaware of his skin, gritting his teeth as he felt his arms and torso being moved around. But once he was laying over Jim, protective arms embraced around his shoulders, Sebastian went to sleep. Jim slipped away unconscious soon afterward without a second thought.

The alarm sounding off was incredibly annoying. Jim swatted at it.

Sebastian’s flat was further away from the hospital than Jim’s own home. He would have to prepare for work quickly. Lucky for him he kept a spare set of clothes at his desk for emergencies. Jim showered and dressed back in the clothes he had worn yesterday, and made himself toast. He looked at the cracker box he had left on the counter the previous night. He should move those to Sebastian’s nightstand. With water. And medicine. It would all be in his reach should he need anything. So after eating, Jim brought in medicine, crackers, water bottles, and Kleenex to Sebastian’s room. Sebastian looked about ready to jump off a bridge.

“I’ll be back after work, okay? I brought food and more medicine. Drink water too. Try and rest.” Jim consoled Sebastian as best he could. His boyfriend only nodded. So Jim left for work, hoping the day would run by quickly.

Sebastian spent his day sleeping, talking to Darcy, and watching pathetic dramas on the television. Nothing entertaining was ever on during the day hours. Then again, he may not have had the attention span for something interesting right then. He dozed on and off while waiting for Jim who had promised to come back. Sebastian hardly remembered Jim saying anything to him. But he remembered that.

The soft three knocks were the tell tale sign Jim was back. He stepped through the front door before Sebastian could manage to get up.

“Sebastian? It’s me.”

Sebastian’s head poked up above the couch. “Hi, love. How was work?”

Jim smiled as he came around the couch, taking one of Sebastian’s hands. “It was alright. Worked through lunch to come back early. Have you taken meds and eaten anything? And water too.”

Seb grunted his response. “Throwing up less,” he added.

Jim took that as permission to get him more broth. He made them both dinner and brought more water and soda crackers for Sebastian as they ate together on the couch. Sebastian leaned against Jim’s shoulder, eating slowly and breathing loudly. His nose was too clogged to breathe through. He felt disgusting. At least he wasn’t still vomiting.

The two talked about work, Jim doing the talking and Sebastian the listening. The absence of a certain sexy, flirty security guard kept the days boring. Sebastian snorted at that. Sebastian told Jim he planned on going to the clinic tomorrow if his fever didn’t break and Jim offered to help him check in. Then they went quiet. Jim glanced down at his boyfriend (whose head was now resting in his lap) and decided to bring it up.

“You never told me you had a tattoo.”

Sebastian’s brow furrowed momentarily before he remembered. Jim must have seen it when he changed last night.

“Guess I forgot. Didn’t realize I didn’t tell you.” He waited a moment before smiling a bit, his cheekiness coming back just a hint. “Want to see it again?”

Jim smirked. “Yes, please.”

Sebastian pulled up his shirt again, watching Jim’s face as he scanned over the design once again. His eyes were intense, focused on the black shapes and lines stained into Sebastian’s torso. Jim bit the inside of his cheek.

“It’s beautifully done. But. Why a tiger?”

“Strength. To protect my sister. And myself. After my parents died.” Sebastian said, halting between answers. His tiger was his strength and power physically manifested in permanent ink to remind him that he could do hard things. He could come out standing at the end of the day. He was strong. He would make it. At least that’s what he thought of when he got it.

Jim couldn’t help but smile. It fit. He reached a hand forward to touch it. Just for a few moments. His taunt skin grew goose bumps as Jim brushed over the tiger’s face and around the eyes. It was nice. And. That was a lot of muscle. Jim whispered thoughtfully: “Tiger. My tiger.” He looked into his boyfriend’s very green, jungle green, eyes. He took in a breath.

“I can be your tiger.” Sebastian answered, growing very still as he returned Jim’s gaze.

There was silence for a moment. The two men were immovable, watching one another with wide eyes. Jim’s hand on Sebastian’s stomach, Sebastian’s head still in Jim’s lap, the two of them were leaning towards one another. Jim could feel his breath quickening, blood pumping in his ears and going to his head. Sebastian felt it in his heart, then pooling down to his groin. Before they could meet in the middle, Jim paused. He was first to break from their shared reverie. He blinked again a few times, pulling his hand away. Sebastian caught it.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“I would if you weren’t sick.”

“Rain check, then.”

Jim nodded. If Sebastian hadn’t been sick, he wasn’t sure how much he would have been able to control himself.

The next few days fell into routine. Jim would go to work, but come straight back to Sebastian’s apartment to take care of him. He made him soup. He played with his hair. He washed his sheets and clothes so they didn’t smell of sweat and bile. Sebastian felt rather doted on, but he wasn’t about to complain. Jim was spending nights with him. Even if it was only to help him through vomiting fits in the middle of the night. On the forth night of Sebastian’s illness, he was feeling well enough to at least function on his own. Dr. Watson had given him a prescription the day before and it was working wonders. But it made Sebastian wonder if Jim would stay another night. He wasn’t sure how to mention it without having Jim think he was asking him to practically move in already. As they both reclined on the couch watching Top Gear reruns, Sebastian sort of brought it up.

“So. Do you need to borrow clothes?”

“Erm. I can just run home and get my things. All depends on if you want to spare an hour apart or not.” 

“An hour? Dangerous risk to play with a sick boyfriend.” Sebastian started pouting for affect. His eyes went wide and innocent, looking at Jim pleadingly. Jim rolled his eyes.

“Then I will stay, tiger.”

“Good.”

Sebastian wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. He still felt weak, but he was happy to have Jim over. Even if they hadn’t even gotten to the point of a proper snogging. Jim was taking forever on that front. He was so bloody shy.

“You can order real food if you want. Or take your pick from my kitchen.”

“Oh don’t worry. I’ve been raiding your pantry since day one.” Jim teased. The two chuckled together, Sebastian pressing his forehead to Jim’s bicep.

“Well my kitchen is free to be raided by you.”

The rest of the weekend played out nicely. Jim borrowed Sebastian’s clothes, practically drowning in even the smallest pair of his boyfriend’s sweats and t-shirts. He had to pull at his trousers to avoid stumbling on his feet. It got a smile (and a good laugh) from Sebastian every time. Sebastian got better and better, well enough to return to work on Monday. But it meant the sleepovers would be over, and Sebastian missed the constant company already. Monday evening Sebastian headed home alone. He wasn’t expecting Jim tonight. They had said goodbye already, Jim walking to his home and Sebastian driving in the opposite direction to his own flat. Just as he heated up more soup he heard three knocks on the door.

“Jim?”

The Irishman was standing there, coat in his arms and a nervous smile on his face.

“One more night wouldn’t hurt, right? I mean. Have to ensure my patient is in fact all better.” The words were out of Jim’s mouth in a rush, his cheeks pink – if it was because of the cold outside or bashfulness, Sebastian couldn’t tell. He grinned anyway.

“Have you eaten yet?”

The two spent one more night together. They curled up in Sebastian’s bed, a little closer and a little more tangled than the previous nights. They watched movies on Sebastian’s laptop, holding one another and keeping warm. Sebastian ran his nose through Jim’s hair and closed his eyes.

“I’m glad you came back tonight,” he whispered.

“Me too.”

In the morning the two would return to work. The next afternoon they would separate for their own homes. It would be back to the normal routine. Baby steps, Sebastian told himself. This relationship would be worth it. It was worth it. Snogging, sex, and living together (permanently) were just other milestones in a relationship he knew he would never end.


End file.
